


Bleeding Memories

by DeansLady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Memory Loss, Profanity, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:36:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8517001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeansLady/pseuds/DeansLady
Summary: When Sam’s sees a news report of a couple of vampire bodies found in a shallow grave in nearby Conway Springs, the boys know that Krissy Chambers and her friends must be involved.They go to find out and who they find there sends Dean into a tailspin.This is a story of a love lost and the fallout of Dean’s fateful decision five years ago.





	1. A Chance Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set during season 12. It starts a week after 12.03. If you haven't seen the episode, The Foundry, please beware of a quick spoiler.

“Hey, Dean?” Sam called to his brother as he looked down at his laptop.

“Yeah?” Dean answered as he came into the room from the kitchen. He carried two mugs of coffee and set one down in front of Sam before he sat down next to him.

“I found a news report out of Conway Springs. Sheriff there reported a couple of bodies were found with their heads removed from their bodies in a shallow grave on the outskirts of town.”

“Conway Springs, why is that familiar? Didn’t we work a fang case there a few years ago?” Dean asked. He drank some of his coffee before setting the mug down and turning Sam’s laptop so he could read the news report himself.

“Yeah, remember, Krissy Chambers?”

Dean nodded. “Right, her and a couple other kids.”

“I think we should check it out,” Sam said. “It’s only a few hours away. We haven’t been out of here in over a week. Ever since…” He let his voice trail off. He and Dean had not discussed their mother’s leaving the week before. In fact, they hardly spoke of her at all. Whenever Sam tried to bring her up, Dean walked out of the room and by the look on Dean’s face, he knew better than to try to discuss it now.

“Sure, let’s go,” Dean said. “Sticking around here isn’t going to change anything.”

They were on the road within the hour and pulled into Conway Springs three hours after that. It was just after noon. They had decided to go to the coroner’s office first. They wanted to make sure the dead bodies were vamps.

Forty-five minutes later, they pulled next to the two-story house and parked. It looked the same as it had when they were there last. Dean wondered how they were paying all the expenses. As they approached the door, it opened and Krissy stood there smiling.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” she said. “Should have known a couple of vamp kills would catch your eyes.”

“A couple of sloppy vamp kills, you mean,” Dean said. “Why didn’t you burn them?”

“Dean,” Sam said, his voice disapproving of Dean’s tone towards Krissy. “Can we come in?”

“Sure, why not?” Krissy said and she stepped back from the door to let them in.

“Where are the other two stooges?” Dean asked as he looked around.

“Aiden is upstairs, sleeping, and Josephine is out scouting with the new kid,” Krissy said.

“New kid?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. We met him when we were up in Michigan a few months back. He’s still pretty green, but he has this instinct. It’s weird. Like he said he never fired a gun before, yet first ghost hunt, he never flinched when he fired that shotgun. Personally, I thought it would knock him on his ass.” Krissy smiled as she looked at them.

“Hmm, sounds like a winner,” Dean said.

“He’s cool, a bit weird now and then, but cool,” Krissy said.

This got both brothers attention. “Weird how?” Sam asked, a bit harsher than he intended.

“He has some pretty crazy dreams sometimes,” Krissy said, shrugging her shoulders.

“What kind of dreams,” Sam asked. He saw Dean tense and the unconscious movement of his hand to his back as if verifying his gun was there.

“He said he dreams of this other life, like memory flashes of him living another life. Weird, huh?”

“Dean?” Sam looked at his brother.

“Don’t know, Sammy. But I think we should stick around and meet this kid. When they getting back?”

Krissy looked at the clock before answering, “Should be back anytime—”

Her words were cut off by the opening of the door and the sound of laughter, both male and female. Josephine entered the room first, followed by a tall teenaged boy.

“Hey, Jos, look who’s come to visit,” Krissy said.

“Ben?” Sam said.

At the same time, Dean said, “Ben? What the hell?”

Krissy looked from Dean and Sam to Ben and back again. “You guys know Ben?”

Neither brother answered her. Dean started to step forward but Sam grabbed his arm to stop him shaking his head. He whispered, “He doesn’t know you, remember?”

“Like I could forget,” Dean hissed back.

Ben stood frozen in the doorway. He knew these men, but yet, he didn’t know them. ‘Wait,’ he thought, ‘He is the man from the hospital, all those years ago. The one who hit Mom’s car. The one who changed our lives.’

“You, I know you,” Ben finally said and pointed at Dean.

“You know him?” asked Josephine looking at Ben then at Dean.

“Yeah, he was the one who hit my mom’s car. The one who changed her, the one who ruined my life.” He turned and walked out of the room and raced up the stairs. They heard a door slam.

Dean stood motionless, all blood draining from his face. He moved over to the couch and collapsed onto it.

“Krissy, what did he mean by that?” Sam asked.

Krissy and Josephine exchanged a look that spoke volumes. It clearly asked if they should tell them what they knew.

“I’m going to check on Ben,” Josephine said and left the room.

“Krissy?” Sam’s voice drew her attention.

“Sam, I don’t know if I should be the one to say anything. It is his story to tell,” she said.

“Does he look like he is willing to talk?” Sam said. “We can’t help if we don’t know what we are up against.”

Krissy sighed and sat down in a chair. Sam followed suit but sat next to Dean on the sofa. Dean was staring at his hands unmoving.

“Like I said, we ran across Ben up in Michigan. Just some punk kid, hanging out too late on the streets, no clue what else was running around in the dark.” She looked over Sam’s shoulder to make sure no one was coming down the stairs.

“We heard there may be some vamps in the area, so we were up there checking it out. Damn fool of a kid came within a hair’s breath of getting his head ripped off.” She shuddered. “Freaked him out a bit having a girl chop someone’s or rather some thing’s head off right in front of you, but he handled it. Next night, he followed us to the nest. Watched us clear it out.”

“What happened?” Sam asked.

“We found him hanging around outside with his phone in his hand. He recorded the whole damn thing. Aiden broke the phone in two. Kid went nuts, hell of a right cross Ben has.” She chuckled. “Anyway, he told us things weren’t so good at home and he was thinking about leaving. We sent him home.”

“We got back here and found him in the trunk of the car. Apparently, he and Josephine had met up before we left town and talked. She helped him to come with us.”

“That’s all well and good, but what about Lisa?” Dean’s voice cracked when he said the name he hadn’t spoken in over five years. “What was the kid talking about when he said _I changed his mom and ruined his life_?”

Krissy looked uncomfortable. It was clear she had hoped they wouldn’t push this issue. “I really think you should ask Ben.”

“I’m asking you,” Dean said.

Krissy sighed. “Dean—”

“Why the hell don’t you just ask me? After all, it is MY life you ruined.” Everyone’s eyes were drawn to the furious Ben who stood in the doorway. “You really want to know? You want to know the hell I have been living for the past five years?” Ben advanced on Dean as if he was approaching an enemy.

“You have no idea, do you? No idea the mess you left behind with your small loss of control.”

Dean grimaced. He remembered clearly telling them that is why he hit their car. He closes his eyes briefly trying to hide the pain. “Ben, I’m sor—”

“Don’t, just don’t, okay. You don’t get to apologize. For the past five years, she hasn’t been my mom, not like before the accident.” He stopped and dropped his head. Dean had seen the sheen of tears in his eyes.

“What do you mean she wasn’t like before?” Sam asked. He knew she had been possessed by a demon inside that building all those years ago. Dean had exorcised it, but what if?

“She lost part of her memory, side effect of the crash, the doctors said. At first, she was okay with it, you know. It didn’t seem to be anything big, so it was okay. But as time went on, she kept talking about feeling like she lost something or someone. How she knew those memories were the key. She became obsessed.”

“Ben, what happened?” Sam asked gently.

“She started seeing psychics, most of them fake. She’d been gone for days at a time, then come home and go to her room. She’d come out a day or so later and it would start all over again. The searching for the next psychic, the trip, and the locked bedroom door.”

“My God,” Sam said.

“As if that wasn’t bad enough, some of them, some of them told her things, disturbing things. They were the worst because it seemed to verify in her mind that she needed to remember.”

“Ben, where’s your mom?” Dean asked.

“Honestly, who knows? She could be home in her room or off searching for another psychic. I doubt she even knows I’m gone.” He shrugged as if it didn’t matter to him, but Dean again saw the tears in his eyes.

Dean pulled out his phone and scrolled through the numbers for the number he never deleted as many times as he tried. His hand was shaking as he pressed the button to call Lisa. The phone rang once and went to voicemail:

_This is Lisa, leave a message…if this is Ben, please come home or tell me where you are and I’ll come get you. If you can’t get me, Missouri gave me a number for you to call, she said he would help you, no questions asked. She said to trust him. Ben, call me or him,_ _785-555-0128. Please, baby, I love you.”_

Dean dropped the phone. “Holy hell,” he said.

“Dean?” Sam reached for the phone on the floor. He picked it up and hit redial as well as the speakerphone button. As the message played, his eyes met Dean’s.

“Missouri? Our Missouri?” Sam questioned.

“Has to be, how else…”

“Ben, first of all, I would say your mom knows you are gone,” Sam said.

“And second?” Ben asked.

Sam pulled his phone out. “That phone number, 785-555-0128,” he repeated it as he dialed it. Immediately Dean’s phone rang. Sam disconnected the call and Dean’s phone went silent. Sam showed Ben the screen of Dean’s phone it read: _1 missed call Sammy_

“I don’t understand,” Ben said.

“Neither do we,” Sam said.

“But we are going to find out. Pack your shit, kid. You’re coming with me,” Dean said as he stood. “Sam, you stay here and deal with this.”

“No, Dean. I’m coming with you,” he said. “There is something going on here.” He indicated Ben with his eyes. “ Krissy, listen, we’ll be back in a few days. If anything comes up, call. Until then, no hunting. Keep your noses clean. We’ll help you sort out this mess when we get back.”

“But the nest?” Krissy argued.

“If they haven’t already moved on, we’ll take care of it when we get back.” Sam’s voice was firm and brooked no argument.

“Sam, I don’t need you to come with us,” Dean said. “Stay here. Clear the nest.”

“Dean, I’m coming.” Sam used the same tone with Dean that he had with Krissy. “Ben, go get your stuff.”

Ben looked as if he was going to argue but the looks the brothers gave him changed his mind. He shrugged and left the room. He returned five minutes later with a backpack. “Let’s go, I guess.”


	2. Unwanted Answers

Dean tossed his cell phone to Ben in the backseat. “Call your mom and tell her you are coming home. You’ll be home by tomorrow night.” His tone left no room for argument.

“Why do you have my mom’s phone number?” Ben asked. Dean glanced in the rearview mirror to see Ben looking at the numbers in his phone and groaned. “Hey, you have my old number, too. What the hell?”

“Ben, I can explain. But first, we need answers. Now, _call your mom!_ ”

Dean continued to glance in the mirror at Ben. It took a few minutes before he saw the boy put the phone to his ear. “Ahh, Mom, it’s me, Ben. Listen, I’m okay. I’m on my way home. Stop worrying. I’ll be there sometime tomorrow. Umm, yeah, well, bye.” He hung up the phone. “Voicemail, again,” he said simply.

Dean saw Sam smiling at the message Ben left. “Great message, kid. I’m sure that will stop her from worrying.” Dean’s tone was laced with sarcasm.

“Hey, if you can do better, then do it,” Ben said and tossed the phone onto the front seat. When Dean didn’t touch it, Ben smirked. “What too chicken? I saw the look on your face when you made that call to her. You wanna come clean with me?”

“I will, Ben. I promise. But first, why don’t you tell us about those dreams you’ve been having?”

“What dreams?”

“The dreams Krissy told us about, about you living a different life,” Dean said.

“Just stupid dreams, too much video games,” Ben said.

Dean was about to argue with Ben when he felt Sam’s hand on his arm. He looked at him and Sam shook his head and mouthed, ‘Let me try.’ Dean nodded.

“Ben, even if they are just video game strange dreams, tell us about them. What did you see?” Sam asked, his voice friendly.

“I dunno, just some weird shit. Like one night, I dreamed about shooting these guys in a some sort of factory or warehouse or something, but they didn’t bleed, ya know. I shot them with a shotgun and they dropped but no blood. And get this,” his voice was excited now, “they had black eyes. I’m not talking the color like his are green, they whole eyeball was black, no white part at all.”

“Ben, in this dream, were you alone?” Sam asked.

“Umm, I don’t know. I think I was following somebody, and I remember feeling scared, but at the same time, I knew I wasn’t going to die, like I was safe as long as I was with him.”

“Have you had other dreams like that?” Dean asked.

“Naw, nothing like that. But I’ve dreamed of…well…like sometimes I dream there is this guy, I can’t see him, but he lives with me and mom and we’re all happy. Like a real family, ya know?” He stopped talking for a few seconds. “Those are the worst cause I wake up and realize it was a dream.”

Dean’s hands tightened on the steering wheel so much his knuckles were white. He cursed under his breath. He reached out and turned up the radio.

They rode in silence for a while when he turned off the highway. Sam looked at him questioningly. “Dean, where we going?”

“To Missouri’s. We need to know what she told Lisa.”

They opened the door to Missouri’s shop and stepped inside. Nothing had changed in the years since they had last been there. A voice came from the back, “Well, ya gonna keep me waiting all night? Come on back, boys.”

Dean and Sam smiled at each other and started towards the backroom. Ben stayed by the door. Dean reached back and snagged his coat by the arm. “Come on, you’re in this, too,” he said.

Missouri was seated when they entered the room but stood quickly and came up to them. She hugged each of them then smacked Ben on the head. “Boy, I should take a switch to your backside for worrying your mama so. At least you had the sense to call this one. Wait, you didn’t call him, did you?” At the shake of Ben’s head, she sighed.

She looked Dean. “ You found him.” When Dean nodded, she asked, “You taking him home?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Dean said.

“Then why you here?” She looked at Dean. “Oh, I see. Well, sit down, and no feet on the table.”

Dean smiled remembering the first time they came here and Missouri’s warning what would happen if he put his feet on her table. “No ma’am.”

They sat down and waited. “So, to answer your question, yes, Lisa came to see me. Poor child, so desperate for answers. I’d like a word with the bastard who messed with her mind.”

“It was him,” Ben said angrily as his pointed at Dean. “If he hadn’t been so careless and hit our car.”

“What? No, son. I’ll tell you straight like I did your mama, was no accident that took your mama’s memories. It was something else.”

Sam and Dean looked at each other. It took less than a second for Missouri to get the answer to her unasked question. They looked at her when she sighed.

“Dean, why?”

“She wasn’t safe,” he said simply.

“You are a fool, boy. A damn fool. Well, let me tell you something,” she said as she stood and walked over to stand in front of him, “Castiel did a piss-poor job on her. He didn’t tell you, did he? He didn’t remove the memories, no. He just buried them and put other memories over them. I’m guessing he thought one day, you might ask him to reverse it. Well, guess what, the dam is breaking like it did with our Sam. And I think you best get ready for the fallout.”

Ben sat quietly looking at Dean. “You knew us before, didn’t you?” he asked. “Before the accident?”

“Ben,” Dean said.

“Don’t you go lying to that, boy, now. He deserves the truth. I’m betting if Lisa is remembering so is he.” She looked at Ben and stooped down so she was face to face with him. She stroked a hand over his head. “It will be okay, Ben. It may not seem like it now, but these two,” she waved her hand to indicate Dean and Sam, “they’re good men. You can trust them. What this idiot,” she put her hand on Dean’s shoulder, “did, he did to protect you and your mom. He did it because he thought he was doing the right thing. Even if he won’t admit it, he did it out of love. And love makes us do some crazy things.”

She stood and reached her hand out to Sam. “Sam, why don’t we go and make some tea. I think that is what everyone needs, some tea.” She pulled him to his feet and out of the room.

Dean didn’t know where to start. How did he explain to Ben why he had Cas do what he did? “Damn you, Cas. You couldn’t even do as I asked, could you?” he berated the angel under his breath. He jumped when his phone rang. Pulling it out of his pocket, he looked at the display and chuckled.

“Cas, what’s up?”

“Dean, what’s wrong? I just got a strange feeling, I heard you calling to me,” Cas said.

“Oh, not much. Guess who I am sitting here with?”

“Dean, I have no idea. I don’t have the ability to see who is with you,” Cas said, his voice serious.

Dean sighed. Would Cas ever understand not every question needed to be taken so literally? “I am sitting here with Ben. You remember Ben, don’t you, Cas. Lisa’s son. The one who should have no memory of any events five years ago? Well, guess what he was doing? Hunting, Cas. Yeah, he is having flashbacks, too. And apparently, Lisa is too. Funny, how is that possible?”

“Dean, you have to understand,”

“Save it, Cas. Look, I have to deal with this. I need to get Ben home to Lisa and figure this whole damn thing out. I’ll talk to you soon.” Dean hung up the phone.

“I want the truth,” Ben said. “Not some made up story, k?”

“I won’t lie to you. I’ll tell you everything, I just think it is better to wait until we are with your mom.”

“But you knew us before the accident. Wait, was there even a car accident?” Ben asked.

Dean shook his head. “No, there wasn’t. Your mom got hurt because of me.” He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You know what Krissy does, right?”

“Yeah, she kills some weird ass stuff,” Ben said. “Like vampires and ghosts.”

“Is that all you’ve seen?”

He shrugged. “I’ve only been with them for a couple weeks,” Ben said. “They told me there is a lot I have to learn, but they would teach me.”

Dean felt horror through down through the core of his soul. The thought of Ben hunting. No, no way in hell. “Ben, there are more monsters out there, things much worse than vampires and ghosts.”

“Krissy said she would teach me,” Ben said.

“You’re NOT going back to Krissy’s,” Dean said emphatically.

“You can’t stop me, you’re not my dad,” Ben said.

Dean’s head snapped up when he heard Missouri choke. “What?” he asked. “Am I?”

“That is not my secret to tell,” Missouri said, her eyes sad.

Dean looked at Ben and a small smile crossed his face. He looked back at Missouri. “Thank you,” he said.

She nodded. “Now, while I am always happy to see you boys, I’m sure you didn’t come here for a catch-up. How can I help you?”

“We need to know what you told Lisa when she was here,” Sam said when Dean continued to look at Ben.

“Now, Sam, I can’t tell you what I talked about with a client. But,” she held a hand up to forestall his interruption, “I will tell you what I saw around her. Only because it ends up you both are involved. There is a darkness her. I don’t know if it is because of what was done to her memories, or what, but there was something.”

Dean’s eyes shot to Missouri’s as he jumped to his feet. “Is she in danger?”

“I don’t know, not immediate danger. I didn’t get the sense of that. If I had, I would have called you as soon as she left here yesterday to return to her motel room. Only reason I didn’t call you today, is I knew you were coming here.”

“Sam, we have to go, now!” Dean said as he started for the door.

“Sit down, Dean. You don’t even know where she is, do you?” Missouri asked. “And I did say she wasn’t in any immediate danger.

Dean didn’t sit. “Where is she?”

“A motel just outside Lebanon,” she said and smiled. “When she left here this morning, I sent her there.”

“You sent her to the Bunker?” Sam asked.

“No, I sent her to the motel. I told her to wait there for me to call. And if she heard from Ben, to call me first before she left there. I was on the phone with her when you pulled in. I told her to stay there. I would make sure Ben found her.”

“Like she is going to listen,” Dean said. “Ben told her he was going home. She is probably on her way to Battle Creek as we speak.”

Missouri looked over at Ben. “Ben, call your mom.” She picked up the receiver of her phone. “Tell her you will join her at the motel soon.”

Ben stood. “Should I tell her I am with you?” He looked at Dean.

Dean didn’t know how to answer that. “No, just tell her you are with a friend.” If the memory dam was going to burst, he wanted to be there when it did. “Tell her we will be there in a few hours.”

Ben called his mother. He almost dropped the phone when she answered.

“Mom? Mom, is that really you? Yeah, it’s me. Mom…come on, don’t cry. I’m fine, honest. Look, I’m on my way to you at the motel. What? Oh, I’m at Missouri’s, she told me where you are. Just stay there, k? We’ll be there in a few hours. Yeah, I love you too. Bye.” He hung up the phone and kept his head bowed. Missouri rubbed a hand over his back.

“Now, can we go?” Dean asked.

They thanked Missouri for her help and promised to let her know what was going on. She hugged each of them before they left.

Dean squealed the tires when he pulled out which left Missouri shaking her head. “Damn fool thinks he can deny love.”


	3. As the Levee Breaks

Dean drove like a man possessed. Sam didn’t even bother to try to tell him not to rush. He felt anxious himself. There was something in Missouri’s tone when she spoke about a darkness around Lisa. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but the sooner they picked up Lisa and the four of them were safe in the Bunker, the better.

“Ben, call your mom again and find out what motel she is in and what room. Tell her to pack her stuff, we’ll be there in a half hour. She’s coming with us.”

“Where?” Ben asked.

“Back to our place,” Dean said. He tossed Ben his cell phone. “Call her.” As Ben dialed his mom’s number, Dean said, “Put it on speaker.”

“Hello?” Lisa’s voice came through the phone. She sounded exactly the same to Dean, he felt the ache in his chest whenever he thought of her.

“Mom, it’s me,” Ben said. “What motel are you in?”

“Ben? Where’s your phone? Who’s phone is this?” Her questions came quickly one on top of the other.

“Mom, it’s okay. He’s a friend. We are about a half hour away and we need to know where you are and what room you are in,” Ben said.

“Motel nine just off the highway, room eight,” she said.

“Mom, listen pack your stuff up, k?”

“I’m already packed. But, I have the room for the night, I thought we would just get an early start in the morning,” she said.

Dean caught Ben’s eye and shook his head. He mouthed, ‘Don’t say anything else.’

“Okay, Mom. See you soon.”

“I love you,” Lisa said.

“Love you too,” Ben said and hung up the phone. “Why didn’t you want me to tell her she was coming with us?”

“Because she would’ve asked a whole bunch of questions. Since she is packed, we can just get her and go. Easier to argue why she is coming with us, face to face,” Dean said.

“Why should we come with you?” Ben asked.

Dean shook his head as Sam laughed. “You sound just like your mother,” he said. “Because I said so.”

“Good one, Dean,” Sam said as he continued to chuckle.

Ben’s eyes widened and his face paled. “You…you’ve said that to me before,” he murmured.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, once upon a time, kid.”

Ben was still quiet when they pulled into the motel parking lot. They parked next to the blue car which was in front of room eight and climbed out of the car. The motel door opened as soon as their doors closed.

There silhouetted in the light from the room stood Lisa. She rushed out to grab Ben and pull him into a tight embrace. Dean and Sam stayed back and let her have her moment with her son in private. She straightened and looked at them. Tears streamed down her face. But it was when she got her first look at Dean that her face went ghostly white.

“Dean,” she whispered and then her knees gave way as she lost consciousness.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean was fast, he had her in his arms before she even came close to the ground. He carried her inside and placed her gently on the bed. Ben was on his heels and Sam followed behind, closing the door and locking it.

“Ben, get a washcloth and wet it with some cold water. Sam, I think maybe you should grab the bottle of whiskey out of the trunk,” Dean instructed.

“Dean, this may not be the best time for drinking,” Sam said.

“Not for me, for her. I think she is going to need it. I think the wall just broke,” Dean said.

“Gotcha,” Sam said as he turned and left the room, only to return a few minutes later with not only the requested bottle but with the duffle bag containing weapons. He set the bottle on the table and the bag by the door. He poured a glass and took it to Dean. “Here,” he said.

Dean grabbed the glass and downed it. Ben just looked at him. “Thought you said it wasn’t for you.”

“Yeah, well, she ain’t awake is she?” Dean said. He handed the glass back to Sam to refill. His head whipped back to Lisa’s face when he heard her stirring. As she opened her eyes, he smiled. “Hi, Lisa. How ya been?”

Her head turned from him to Sam and then to Ben. “What the hell are you doing with my kid?” she asked. “And how in the hell do you know who I am?”

“Mom,” Ben said uncertainly. He clearly heard as they all did, Lisa call Dean by name. Now it seemed she didn’t know who he was. What was going on? “Mom, are you okay?”

Lisa looked back at Ben. “I’m fine, honey. I just haven’t been eating right. I’ve been too worried about you. Where have you been?”

“I was with some friends,” he said. “And no, not these guys, some friends I met back home.”

“Ben—”

“Mom, not now, okay? Look, when was the last time you ate anything?”

“I don’t know, yesterday, I guess when I was at Missouri’s,” she said.

“Sam?” Dean looked at his brother.

“Yeah, right, food. Ben, why don’t you come with me on a food run? You’ll know better than I would what your mom would like.”

“But…”

“Go, Ben. I’ll be fine,” Lisa said and smiled at her son.

 The door had barely closed behind Sam and Ben when Lisa spoke, “I want to know who you are, why you are with my son, and why in the hell, looking at you breaks my heart.”

Dean picked up the glass from the nightstand and downed the contents. He had no idea how to answer her. It was obvious she did not make the connection to him and the car accident that Ben did, so he wasn’t sure what the best course of action to take.

“I’m a…” What was he exactly? A friend, an ex-lover? “I’m a friend. You have to trust that, trust me. I will answer all your questions, but I need some answers from you first, okay?”

It took her a few minutes of studying him before she nodded. “Okay. I don’t know why, but I do feel as if I can trust you. Somehow, I know, no matter what, you would not let anything happen to me or to Ben.” She stopped talking and sighed. “How do I know that?” She rubbed a hand over her face. “Why are you so familiar to me? Like why do I know without a shadow of doubt, you have a tattoo on the top of your chest on the left side, a protection symbol? How would I know something like that?”

Tears formed in her eyes and silently rolled down her cheeks. The sight broke Dean. He went over to the bed where she was sitting and pulled her into his arms. “Hush, Lisa. It will all be okay. I promise. Everything will be okay,” he murmured against her hair. “I’ll make it all up to you. I’ll fix this.”

“Who are you?” she asked again.

“I’m Dean Winchester and we used to live together,” he said softly.

He felt her stiffen then she pulled away from him to look at him. “Lived together? Oh my God, my memories, that is what I can’t remember. I…the car accident,” she said.

“There was no car accident,” he said as he stood to walk back over to the table to get the bottle of whiskey. He poured her some in a clean glass and brought both back to the bed. He handed the glass to her before pouring some for himself in the other glass on the nightstand.

“Wait, you are the guy who hit our car five years ago,” she said.

“Lisa, listen to me, there was no car accident. The memory of one was put into you and Ben’s mind when your memories were changed.” He held up a hand to stop her questions. “Listen, there is a lot to this story, and Ben deserves to hear it as well. I know you have a ton of questions, but let’s wait until Sam and Ben get back, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay, but can you at least tell me how you came to be with Ben?”

‘Oh boy,’ Dean thought, she isn’t going to like this even if right now, she doesn’t understand it. “He was with this group of kids we know. There was some trouble in the area, the kind of trouble which caught Sam’s attention. We went to check it out and to check on Krissy. We found Ben there with her. Simple as that.”

“Somehow, I don’t think it was that simple,” Lisa said. “I have a feeling there is a lot more to this story you are not telling me.”

“Lees, listen, I could tell you exactly what Ben was doing, but right now, it wouldn’t make much sense to you. When I found him there, well, I wasn’t going to leave him there. And here we are.”

“Yes, here you are,” Lisa said. “Thank you. If you hadn’t found him, who knows how long it would have been before he came home. He’s been so mad at me. I haven’t been the best parent lately.” She leaned back and closed her eyes, glass still in her hand untouched.

“I know, baby, I know,” Dean said. “But, it will be better now, I promise. No more searching for answers, no more psychics, no more bad dreams. Everything will be okay.”

Her eyes flew open. “How do you know about the psychics and the dreams?” she asked.

“Ben told us. He’s been having dreams, too. Don’t worry, they aren’t too bad. Actually, only one of them seems to be anything scary and he thinks it is just some video induced dream.”

“You’re sure?” she asked. When he nodded, she sighed. “I wish I was so lucky.” She raised the glass and downed the contents. Coughing and gasping, she looked at him. “How in the hell do you drink this stuff?”

“Easy enough,” he said and smiled.

“Guess with all those years of drinking it, you’ve probably burned off most of your taste buds or something,” she said.

“Or something,” he agreed.

The door opened and Sam and Ben came in carrying bags from a popular fast-food restaurant. “We got food,” Ben said as he set his bags down on the table. “Mom, come and eat. Hey, Dean, Sam said you guys live not far from here.”

“Yeah, we do. After we eat, we’ll head on over there.” Dean stood and held a hand out to Lisa to help her up.

She took his hand and stiffened. Her eyes flew to his and he could see something flash in them. He saw her face pale as she swayed. His arms went around her to steady her.

“Lees, you okay?” he asked. “What is it?”

“Nothing, nothing,” she said. “Just a bit dizzy, that’s all. I’m fine now.” She pulled out of his arms and went over to the table and sat down. “So, Ben, what did you get me to eat.”

Dean knew she was lying. He didn’t push the issue, though, preferring to wait until they were at the Bunker to get everything out in the open. He joined everyone at the table.

While they ate, Lisa asked Ben about where he was this whole time. She told him what Dean had told her and insisted he explain to her a bit more of the detail. Ben took the cue from what Dean told his mom and didn’t elaborate on the vampires but stuck as close to the truth as he could. He wasn’t sure if his mom knew he was holding back, but how did he tell his mom that monsters really did exist?

Once they finished eating, Dean told Lisa to get her stuff so they could leave. “Excuse me? I’m not going anywhere with you and neither is Ben.”

“”Yes, you are, subject closed,” Dean said.

“Oh, I forgot how damn authoritarian you can be, Dean Winchester. That was one trait I never really liked, you know,” she said and then her eyes widened. “Where the hell did that come from?”

“You are starting to remember more and more,” Sam said. “Listen, the Bunker is close. You will be safe there. Just come with us. Listen to what we have to say, and then if you want to leave, fine. But, I think you owe it to yourself and to Ben to come with us.”

Lisa looked thoughtfully at Sam for a minute before agreeing. “Fine, but just until I get some answers.”


	4. The Right Question

The silence was strained in the car on the way to the Bunker. Dean was thankful the drive was short. He parked in the garage and got out of the car. He opened the door for Lisa and offered her a smile which she didn’t return. Ben climbed out the other side.

“Come on, Ben, I’ll show you around,” Sam said to Ben as he led him into the Bunker.

“This is where you live?” Lisa asked as she looked around the garage. “Are all these yours?”

“They came with the place,” Dean said. “Want to see the rest?”

Lisa shrugged. “I guess.”

Dean started to reach for her hand but changed his mind and let his arm fall to his side. They went into the Bunker, Sam and Ben were nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Ben?” she asked looking around.

“Don’t worry,” Dean said. “There are only two ways out of here that we’ve found, the garage and that door up there. So, he is around somewhere with Sam. He won’t let anything happen to him. He is safe in here. You both are.”

Lisa didn’t look like she believed him but didn’t argue. She walked into the war room and looked around. “This looks like some military base out of the fifties,” she said.

“Well, it sorta is,” Dean said. “But, not really military by normal standards. The group that built it was a secret society, a think tank, I guess you could say. They gathered information and kept it here.”

“Information on what?” she said.

‘Oh boy, now you stepped in it, didn’t you?’ he thought. He was saved from having to answer by Ben rushing into the room.

“Hey, Mom! You should see this place! They’ve got this hidden room, kinda like a dungeon but it isn’t underground. And a shooting range and…”

“Whoa, calm down,” Dean said. He saw the look of horror that crossed Lisa’s face when Ben mentioned the shooting range. “How about we let your mom settle in before we give away too many of our secrets?”

Ben smiled. “Sure, sure,” he said smiling.

“Okay, you got us here, now how about those answers,” Lisa said.

Sam’s phone rang and he looked down at it. “It’s Cas. I’ll just…”

“We’ll go into the kitchen,” Dean said.

Dean led them into the kitchen and put on some coffee. As much as he wanted a drink, he didn’t think it was a good time for it. “Damn, I wasn’t thinking, Ben, I don’t think we have any soda or anything.”

“That’s okay, I’ll have coffee,” he said.

Dean did a double take. It was at that moment, he realized just how grown up Ben was. He realized the kid was almost eighteen. By the time he was Ben’s age, he was going on solo hunts, drinking, and chasing women. “Shit,” he murmured.

“Excuse me?” Lisa said.

“Nothing, sorry,” Dean said. “I was just thinking about when I was Ben’s age and what I was like.”

“Trouble with a capital T?” she asked as she smiled.

“Something like that,” Dean said and he smiled back at her realizing that was the first real smile she had since they showed up at her motel room.

The coffee finished and Dean poured each of them a cup and after putting them on the table grabbed the milk out of the refrigerator and sat down. Sam came in a minute later and poured a cup for himself.

“Everything okay with Cas?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, he and Crowley are together,” Sam said.

“Tell me I shouldn’t be worried about that,” Dean said.

“He isn’t.”

Dean shrugged. “So, let’s get this over with. Lees, what do you remember?”

“That’s just it, I just keep getting flashes when I dream. Sometimes they aren’t bad, but sometimes, they scare me.”

“Flashes, like what?” Sam asked.

“Like, okay, when Ben turned eight, I know something happened after his party. Something scary, but I can’t remember what.” She shuddered.

“I saved a bunch of kids, Mom. I don’t remember from what, but,” he looked at Dean and continued, “you both were there. You gave me your jacket to put over the broken glass in the window.”

“Yeah, that happened. You were taken by a changeling. Sam and I rescued you.”

“A changeling? Come on, there’s no such thing,” Lisa said.

Dean sighed. ‘Well, here we go,’ he thought. “There are…hell, monsters are real. At least most of them anyway.”

Lisa laughed. “Okay, if you say so,” she said.

“Mom, they are telling the truth. I wouldn’t believe them either but…”

“Ben, this may not be the right time,” Sam cautioned.

“Right time for what?” Lisa asked.

“Mom, when I was gone, I was with some friends, hunting things, hunting ghosts and vampires,” he said.

“Vampires? Ghosts? Seriously, Ben. Look all I ask is you tell me the truth always. Haven’t we always told each other the truth?”

“No, we haven’t, Mom. At least, you haven’t told me the truth,” he accused.

“Ben, what are you talking about?” she asked confused.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” he said. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Did you tell him I lied to him about something?” she asked looking at Dean.

“No, I didn’t. But have you?”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t lie to my son.”

Ben was quiet for a moment, and then he asked quietly, “Who is my dad?”

The question shocked everyone. Lisa’s face paled as did Dean’s. Sam who had just taken a mouthful of coffee choked.

“Ben, this probably isn’t a good time for that discussion,” Dean said.

“Why not? I’m not stupid. I saw the look between you and that Missouri lady when I told you that you weren’t my dad. You are, aren’t you?” He looked at Dean. When Dean didn’t answer him, he turned to his mother. “He is, isn’t he?”

“Ben, I…” Lisa said, but her face had gone from pale to white. Dean saw her eyes closing and her body going limp. His reaction was quick as he moved to grab her before she fell off the chair. He carried her out of the room and took her to his bedroom without even thinking of where he was going.

When he laid her on his bed, he stood up. Hadn’t he always pictured her here? He looked over his shoulder at Sam and Ben in the doorway. Sam shook his head as if to say, ‘Not good, Dean. Not good.’

“I can handle it, Sam,” he said quietly.

“Ben, let’s go and let Dean sit with her. He’ll bring her back to the kitchen _as soon as she wakes up,_ right, Dean?”

Dean nodded. He waited until they walked away before moving her legs a bit so he could sit beside her. He ran a hand down her hair.

“Okay, so I lied to Sam. Isn’t the first time and it probably won’t be the last. I don’t know how I am going to handle it if you leave me again,” he said. “I have missed you so much.” He bent and kissed her forehead.

Her eyes opened and met his as he pulled his head back. “Dean? Where am I?”

“Safe with me,” he said. “You’re at my place. Ben is with Sam, he’s fine.”

She closed her eyes. “I’ve missed you, too,” she said softly. A tear rolled down her cheek.

Dean wiped it away with the tip of his finger. “Lees, what do you remember?” He feared her answer.

“Everything,” she said with her eyes closed.

Dean drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Why, Dean. Why did you take our memories?”

“To keep you safe. So, you could be happy. You didn’t need me in your life. You and Ben were better off without me,” he said.

“No, we weren’t,” she said. She opened her eyes and looked at him. “I knew, I knew there was something missing. My God, Dean, do you know what I put Ben through the last five years searching for answers?”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like that, you have to believe me. Cas was supposed to take the memories of me completely away, not just cover them up. You should never have known something was missing.”

“Well, it didn’t work out that way,” she said, anger in her voice clear.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“Yeah, I know. But it doesn’t change anything now, does it? You decided, once again, what was best for me and my son and made damn sure it was done. Never giving it a thought as to what we may want.”

“You were almost killed because of me! Hell, you would have died that night if Cas hadn’t shown up and healed you. How could I take a chance again with you or Ben? No, I had no choice. You and Ben, you living a long happy life without me was better than being anywhere around me.”

“And now? What are you going to do now? Have our memories wiped again, only this time make sure that it is done so nothing remains?”

Dean shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“You are an ass, Dean Winchester. You can’t just go around messing with people’s minds. Just because it is easier for you to write someone off if they don’t remember you—”

Dean’s eyes widened and his fists clenched. “You think that is what this was all about? You couldn’t be more wrong.” He reached out, fisted a hand in her hair, and lowered his head to take her lips in a kiss. It started out rough but quickly turned passionate. He pulled away first.

“I never forgot you, or Ben. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of you. Easier for me? No, it wasn’t easier. I wanted to spend my life with you, Lisa, with you and Ben.” He stood and began to pace.

“Do you know what one of the first things I thought of when we found this place was?” He looked at her, and then continued, “This is the perfect safe place for Lisa and Ben to live. If they lived here with me, we could finally be a family. Yeah, then I remembered you had no idea who I was.” He laughed mirthlessly.

“I thought about coming round your place, just to check on you. Who knows, maybe if you got to know me, the magic would still be there. But, it would have been based on a lie. And that wouldn’t have been right. I couldn’t do that to you or to Ben.”

Lisa sat motionless looking at him with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, you’re right. I made a choice for both of you. But, I’ll tell you this, given the same circumstances, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

“Ben was really hunting things?” Lisa asked.

Dean stopped his pacing and nodded. “Yeah, Sam and I heard about a couple vamp bodies that turned up in a shallow grave in Conway Springs. We worked a case there a few years back and knew some kids in the area who were hunters, so we went to check on them. Imagine our surprise when Ben walked in with one of them.”

Lisa chuckled. “I would imagine your heart skipped a few beats,” she said.

“More than a few. I had no idea how to handle it either since he wasn’t supposed to remember anything about me or hunting.”

“I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for those first few minutes,” she said.

“Well, Ben made it clear he remembered me  as and I quote, ‘the guy who hit his mom’s car and ruined his life’.”

“He said that?”

“Yeah, before he stormed out of the room and up the stairs. He came down a bit later and we got more out of him as to what was going on. And we headed to Missouri’s once we heard your second voicemail. We were just going to take him home.”

“I’m glad your plans changed since I wasn’t there.”

“Funny how things worked out,” Dean said. “Now, not only are you at my place, but you are in my bed.” He saw the look of shock on her face and laughed.

“Seriously, Dean. This place seems pretty big to me, you guys have no guest rooms?”

“We have plenty, never crossed my mind. I just came in here without thinking about it. Guess my subconscious took over.” He grinned at her.

She shook her head. “Well, I hope it was good for you, cause…”

“Yes?” Dean continued to grin.

She stood and went over to him and punched him on the shoulder. “I want to see my son. We need to tell him everything.”

“Lisa, he isn’t going to stop asking,” Dean said, his voice serious.  
“I know,” she said. She looked up at him. “And neither are you, are you?’

“We have the right to know. Don’t you think?”

She nodded. “Let’s go find Ben.” She took his hand as they walked out of the room making Dean smile.

   


	5. The Truth Finally and A Request

They found Sam and Ben in the kitchen talking quietly. Dean did not acknowledge the raised eyebrows Sam gave him when he noticed he was holding hands with Lisa. Once she sat down, he sat in the chair next to her.

“Feeling better?” Sam asked.

“I guess,” she said. “Although, I feel as if my head is going to explode any minute.”

“Headache?” Dean asked concern and worry clear in his voice. When she nodded he stood and left the room. He came back with a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of whiskey. He set both in front of her. “Your choice,” he said.

“I think I will stick to coffee and aspirin,” she said as she picked up the pill bottle. Dean took her coffee cup and after rinsing it out poured her a fresh cup of coffee. For himself, he went and got a beer before returning to his seat next to Lisa.

“So, Sam told me as much as he could about my missing memories,” Ben said. “He said that there is a lot of time he doesn’t know about, but you can fill in the blanks there.” Ben looked at Dean expectantly.

“Yeah, I can,” Dean said. “I will tell you whatever you want to know.”

“Will you?” Ben asked his mom. Lisa nodded.

“Yes, I owe you that,” she said. “Ben, I am so sorry for what I have put you through. I have no excuse.”

“I forgive you,” Ben said. “But, you need to tell me, to tell us the truth. Mom, it is way past the time for it.”

Lisa sighed. She picked up the bottle of whiskey and after unscrewing the top drank deeply. She choked and Dean chuckled and patted her on the back.

“Guess that probably wasn’t a good idea,” she said.

“No, probably not,” Dean said. “Drink some of your coffee it will help.”

Ben looked like he was going to push the issue but a shake of Dean’s head had him holding his tongue. Sam gave him a small smile and got up to refill both of their coffee cups.

“Ben, I want you to understand, I never meant to keep this from you,” Lisa said. “I was going to tell you the truth long ago, but things happened and it seemed better if you didn’t know.”

“Better for who? Better for you, maybe. Did you ever think about me? How I felt when someone asked me about my dad? What could I tell them when I had no idea who he was.” Ben’s anger was clear in his voice.

“I’m so sorry,” Lisa said.

“You keep saying that, but they are just words,” Ben said.

“Ben, that is unfair,” Dean said. “I’m sure your mom never meant to hurt you in any way.”

“Yeah, sure. Defend her, like always. But how can you in this? If you are my father then she cheated you out of all these years with me, with your son, just like she cheated me out of a father.”

Dean could see the tears in Lisa’s eyes. He knew what Ben said was true but Lisa had good reasons for what she did if he was Ben’s father. His life was not a life for a child. Hadn’t the fact they were kidnapped and almost killed been proof of that?

“Ben, I am sorry. I’m sorry you were hurt because I didn’t tell you who your father was. I did what I thought was right at the time and I don’t know if it was right or wrong in the end, but what is done is done. I can’t change it now. We can only go on from here.”

“Go on from here? Okay, but you are still avoiding answering the question. Who is my father?”

Lisa closed her eyes briefly then looked directly at her son but she reached back and took Dean’s hand in hers. “Dean is your father.”

Silence. No one moved or spoke. It seemed to Sam as if no one was even breathing. He felt as if he was intruding on a private family moment and stood intending to leave them alone.

Ben turned and grabbed his arm. “Don’t go,” he said.

“Ben, I think you need time with your mom and Dean right now. I’m not going far, just into the other room.” He couldn’t make himself refer to Dean as Ben’s father, not yet. It was just too surreal.

Ben nodded and let go of his arm. As Sam left the room, he noticed Lisa and Dean were looking at each other. He wondered if they were even aware of the short conversation between himself and Ben.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Dean asked.

“Would it have made any difference?”

“It would have made a whole hell of a lot of difference!”

“I was going to tell you but…”

“But what, Lisa? Go ahead, say it, my choice of being a hunter wasn’t what you wanted for a father for your kid?”

Neither saw Ben leave the room as they were too caught up in their argument.

“No, it wasn’t your job, Dean. We were making it work when you chose to go back to hunting with Sam. But you grew more and more distant, and it seemed you came around less and less. I was about to tell you when Sam came in the room. You left with him even though I think you knew I wanted to tell you something. It was then I knew, I knew it would always be Sam.”

“Don’t you go blaming Sam for this. You should have told me. We were together an entire year before I ever knew Sam was alive.”

“Oh, the year when you were so out of your mind with grief you could barely function? You barely slept and when you did, it was only after drinking a fifth of whiskey and with guns under our bed. That year?”

“We had a good life, don’t try to deny it!”

“I’m not, we were happy. It was the best year of my life. But, I also knew someday, someday you would go back to hunting. And when you did, what would happen to us? To Ben?”

Dean stood and went to get a glass. He poured whiskey in it and downed it before refilling it. He sat down and stared into the glass. “If you had told me, who knows what would have happened. But, you didn’t give me that choice, you didn’t tell me,” he said, hurt and anger in his voice.

“No, I made a decision for all of us, just like you did when you took our memories away,” she said.

“Low blow, Lisa. I explained why I did that.”

“I know to protect us. Well, I was protecting my son from his father choosing hunting over him,” she said. “From one day having to tell him his father was dead because something got him before he could get it.” She took a deep breath.

“Tell me this, you know now that Ben is your son. Are you going to give up hunting?” When Dean didn’t answer, she shook her head. “I didn’t think so. I think it is time Ben and I went home. Can Sam drive us back to the motel to get my car?”

“Lees, can you please stay here? For a few days anyway. We still need to deal with Ben hunting.”

“I’ll deal with it. Plain and simple, it is over.”

Dean laughed. “If it was that easy. Lisa, you didn’t see the kid’s face light up when he talked about what he had been doing with Krissy. He’s got the bug now. It will take more than you telling him he can’t do it to stop him.”

“I am still his mother, and he isn’t eighteen yet,” she said.

“He isn’t going to stop just because you tell him to. Trust me on this. And if it is something he really wants to do, then he will find a way to do it. I don’t know what happened back in Conway Springs but someone screwed up. Mistakes like that can get you noticed real quick by the cops. If he was involved in it, then he needs to learn the right way to do things.”

“He isn’t going to be a hunter,” she said firmly.

“I don’t want him to be. I want him to go to college, to be something normal. But, I would rather know he knew what to do than be out there blind.” He reached out and laid a hand on her arm. “Please, just stay a few days. I need to send Sam back down to Krissy’s to take care of things down there. Stay here with me. A few days, what harm is there in that?” he asked.

When she nodded, he smiled. He wasn’t going to tell her the harm would come in when she left. He didn’t know how he would ever survive losing her again.

*****

Ben walked out of the kitchen but could still hear the fight going on in there. He found Sam in the library.

“Hey Ben, decided to take yourself out of the line of fire?” Sam asked as he tipped his head towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, they didn’t even notice I left,” Ben said. “How long do you think they will be fighting?”

“Depends, Dean can be unpredictable. And judging from what I hear going on, I’d say he is pretty hurt right now, which means, he is going to handle that the way he always does, with anger.”

 “Well, he has a right to be angry. I’m angry, too,” Ben said.

Sam sighed. He knew what Ben was feeling was the same as Dean, hurt more than anger. He was just reacting the same as Dean. ‘Like father, like son,’ Sam thought and chuckled.

“Something funny?” Ben asked.

“Just a passing thought,” Sam said.

“You know, I really hate when adults do that. I’m not a kid anymore and I hate being treated like one,” Ben grumbled.

“Okay, you’re right. I realized from looking at you that you are probably feeling more hurt than angry.” Sam held up a hand to stop the protest he saw Ben about to speak. “Ben, you may not want to admit it, but you know deep down, it’s true. Anyway, you are reacting just like Dean. So my thought was, ‘like father, like son’.”

The look on Ben’s face was pure shock. “How can I be like him? I spent what, like one year of my life with him a long time ago and until a few hours ago, I didn’t even know about it.”

Sam shrugged. “It will be interesting to find out how alike you two really are, now won’t it?”

“Maybe. Sounds like they have at least stopped yelling at each other,” Ben said. “I wonder if that is good or bad.”

“I don’t know, but I think we should let them have some time alone. Let them straighten things out between themselves then you can talk to your mom. Just give her a chance to explain, huh? I’m not saying what she did was right, but like Dean, she did what she thought best for you and out of her love for you.”

“I guess,” Ben said. He wandered over to the bookshelves. “So all these books, they are on weird stuff?”

“Yeah, if it goes bump in the night, there is a good chance we have something about it here somewhere.”

“Cool. Can I read some of them? Or are they just for real hunters?”

“Actually, I guess they are yours now, too. See our grandfather on the Winchester side was part of the organization that built this place, The Men of Letters. We are what’s referred to as Legacies. Since you are Dean’s son that makes you one, too.”

“So these, Men of Letters what were they? Like some sort of bit shot hunters?”

Sam laughed. “Actually, no. They didn’t care much for hunters. They were more like scholars, they gathered knowledge about the things the hunters would go after.”

“So, they had all this information and didn’t hunt? They just kept it here? Sounds pretty stupid to me,” Ben said.

“I have to agree with that,” Dean said as he came into the room, Lisa next to him. “They were a stuffy bunch of know-it-alls from what we have found out.” Ben laughed and Dean smiled at him. “Hey Sam, need you to do a couple things for me.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“First, we need to go and get Lisa’s car and bring it here,” Dean said. Sam nodded. “Then would you mind heading down to Krissy’s on your own to handle that situation?”

“No problem,” Sam said. “I called her a little bit ago and told her I would see her in the morning.” Dean nodded. “When do you want to go and get the car?”

“No time like the present.” He turned to Lisa. “Give me the keys to your car so Sam can drive it back.”

“I’m coming with you,” she said.

Dean leaned in to whisper in her ear. “I think you should stay here and talk to…our son. He needs some alone time right now with you.”

She glanced at Ben and then back at Dean. She reached into her pocket and handed him the keys. “We’ll be here when you get back.”

Dean leaned down and kissed her gently and quickly before he turned and walked away. He couldn’t help but remember another time she said those words to him.


	6. The Pizza Interruption

Sam waited for Dean to say something, anything in the car on the way to the motel. But after a few minutes of silence, Sam couldn’t take it anymore.

“You okay?”

“Just peachy,” Dean said.

“Dean,” Sam said only to be cut off by Dean’s glare.

“Sam, don’t, just don’t okay. I don’t know what I am right now. That kid back there, the one I let Cas mess with his mind, he’s my son. How do I deal with that? How do I deal with the fact Lisa lied to me?” He hit the steering wheel with his hand in frustration and anger. “She should have told me. I asked her, point blank if he was mine, and she said no.”

“Dean, you asked her that when you saw her for the first time in over eight years, what did you expect her to say? Then, you asked her again as you were about to walk back out the door, after what had just happened to Ben, knowing what you were, how did you expect her to react?” Sam said.

“That’s not fair,” Dean said. “She had an entire year to tell me the truth,” Dean said.

“Dean, she had her reasons not to tell you,” Sam said. When Dean shot him a withering look, Sam held up his hand. “I’m not saying they were right, or wrong, but in her mind, they were right. What you need to do now, is decide what happens now.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.

“Dean, you have a son, a son who has already started hunting. Is that what you want for him?”

“Hell no!” Dean exclaimed.

“Then what? Send him home with Lisa and tell him not to do it? Hope he stays there like a good boy? Visit when you can? “

Dean shook his head. “I don’t think I can let them go again, Sammy.” He pulled into the parking lot next to Lisa’s car.

“Well, you and Lisa need to figure out what comes next, then,” Sam said. “I’ll meet you back at the Bunker.” He got out of the Impala and into Lisa’s car. Dean pulled out and headed back to the Bunker. He had no idea what in the hell he was going to do about anything.

Lisa and Ben were sitting in the kitchen when they came in. Sam looked down at Ben. “Hey Ben, what’d you say we get your mom’s things out of the car and take them to one of the guest rooms. We can put you in one next to hers.”

“Sure,” he said as he stood.

Dean sat down in a chair across from Lisa with a cup of coffee. “You and Ben okay?”

“I think so,” she said. “He’s still upset with me for not telling him, but I think he understands why I didn’t.” She shrugged. “At least he agreed not to take off again.”

“That’s good,” Dean said. “Lisa, we need to talk.”

“Yeah, I guess we do,” she said. “I’m sorry, Dean. I should have told you. No matter what reasons I give you for why I didn’t, they aren’t going to be enough, are they?”

Dean sighed. “Honestly, I understand why you didn’t but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. But, what’s done is done, we need to figure out where we go from here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lisa, I’m not going to just walk away from Ben, from you. Not again, I…I can’t,” Dean said.

“Dean, you have your life, I have mine. We tried this before and it didn’t work,” she said.

“But, things are different now,” Dean said.

“Why? Because you know now Ben is your son?”

“It has nothing to do with that, and everything to do with it,” he said.

“Wow, that’s not confusing at all,” Lisa said shaking her head. She got up and went to get another cup of coffee.

“Look, we had a good thing—”

“Had, Dean. As in the past,” Lisa said.

“If there is any chance at all.” He ran his hand through his hair and down his face. “Lisa, things are different now. I’m not on the road all the time. Sam and me, we got this place. I’m not saying we aren’t gone for days at a time, but this is home now.”

“Dean, you had a home with us, and you still left,” Lisa said. “You chose hunting over us.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Dean said.

“No, what was it like then? Because it sure seemed that way to me,” she said. “Sam came back and you took off. Yeah, at first you came around, but then it got less and less. Then that last time you showed up…”

“I can explain that,” Dean said. “I never should have come that night.” He picked up his coffee cup and threw it across the kitchen. “God, I could have killed both of you.”

“Dean.” She reached out her hand and put it on his arm. He pulled away and stood up. “Talk to me,” she pleaded.

He went and got a beer. He unscrewed the top as he walked back to the table and drank from the bottle before he sat back down. “We were hunting a nest of vampires, one got me.” He shuddered. “I just wanted to say goodbye to you before I went back to Sam and Samuel and they killed me.”

“What do you mean, one got you?” she asked.

“He turned me. I was a vampire when I was at your house. I was half out of my mind. The pull of need for blood was so strong but I resisted because of my love for you and for Ben,” he said. “When I got back to Sam and Samuel, Samuel told me he had a cure as long as I didn’t drink human blood.”

“You risked our lives to say goodbye?” she said horrified.

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m just a great guy like that. But all I could think of was seeing you. I could die, I could let them kill me if I just saw you one more time. I knew I could resist killing you because I loved you. I knew I would never hurt you or Ben. I could _never_ hurt either of you.”

“My God,” Lisa said. “I don’t know what to do with this.”

“Yeah, probably not the best recommendation to keep you around here, is it?”

“Dean, I built a life without you,” she said.

“What, psychics and trips away from your kid? That is when your not locked in your room,” Dean accused.

“I was only like that because of a choice you made,” she shot back.

“Yeah, my fault again,” he said. “I almost killed you, I was the cause of you almost being killed. Both you and Ben, if Cas hadn’t healed you, you would have died that night. Because of me. I knew if I stayed in your life…no…you were both better off without me,” Dean said.

“Sure we were. And maybe if the memory thing had been done right…well, we’ll never know, now will we? But, I am warning you, Dean, don’t even think about doing that again to us.”

“Lisa, if I were to do it again, it would be done right this time. But, I have no intention of it, so don’t worry about it.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What is done, is done. We can’t change what either of us, we have to decide where we go from here.”

“And you want to be part of Ben’s life,” she said.

“Damn straight I do,” he growled. “Don’t even think you can keep me away from him.”

“And don’t even try to keep me away from Dean, Mom!” Ben said as he came in the kitchen. “You can do whatever you want. Stick around or go, but Dean’s my dad and I think we missed enough time together.”

Lisa looked shocked and scared. “Ben…”

“Mom, look, I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you, k? But, I want to be here, too.”

“Ben, we’ll figure it out,” Dean said.

Ben looked crestfallen. “Don’t you want me here?”

“Of course I do,” Dean said quickly. “I would love for you to stay here. But, we have to work out the details, okay?”

“Yeah, you do that. That is if the two of you can actually have a conversation without fighting. I just came in to tell you I was going with Uncle Sammy to get some pizza for dinner.” He turned and walked out of the kitchen. Then came right back in. “Don’t kill each other while we are gone.” And with that parting shot, he was gone again.

Dean burst out laughing. “He’s a hell of a kid.” ‘Too bad it is something entirely different I want to do with her then kill her,’ he thought. He shook his head to clear that thought from his mind. ‘Totally inappropriate, Dean,’ he chided himself.

“Yeah, he is,” Lisa said.

“Lisa, I know I asked you to stay here for a few days, but I want you to think about something more permanent. This place is safe, you’d both be safe here. Nothing can get in and I wouldn’t have to worry about you when I have to leave.”

“Dean, that’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

“No, listen, I don’t mean we have to start our relationship again. This place is so big, several families could live here and not trip over each other.”

“Dean, you know as well as I do what is going to happen if I stay here,” Lisa said.

“Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen, no matter what I may feel or want to happen,” Dean assured her. “No strings, honest. Just stay. Please.”

“For a few days, then we’ll see,” she said.

Dean nodded. “Okay, now what are we going to do about our son and hunting?”

“He’s not going to be hunting anymore,” Lisa said, her voice firm.

“He may have a different idea on that,” Dean said. “Kid is stubborn, like his mother.”

“More like his father,” Lisa said and smiled. “But, it doesn’t matter, no hunting. I need you to back me up on this, Dean. He’ll listen to you even if he won’t listen to me.”

“Look, I don’t want him hunting either, but, it is in his blood. I’d rather teach him how to do it safely than see him go out on his own in a fit of rebellion and get hurt or worse,” Dean said.

“No,” Lisa said.

“Yes. Let me teach him. I will teach him what he needs to know. I won’t take him hunting and while I teach him, I can talk to him, man to man and maybe, just maybe convince him it isn’t the life he wants.”

“If you teach him, it is only going to make him want it more,” she said.

“Let me worry about that,” Dean said. “Please, trust me on this.”

Lisa considered what he said and finally nodded. “Okay, but no hunting.”

Dean sighed. “No hunting.”

“So, how about showing me around this place of yours?” Lisa asked.

“Sure,” Dean said and stood. He held out a hand to her. There was no hesitation on her part when taking the offered hand. Dean smiled down at her. “Come on, there is a lot to show you.”

The bedroom doors on the other side of the hall from his were open and Dean could see luggage in one and Ben’s backpack in the other. He pointed them out to Lisa and told her they were their rooms. He then opened his door to show her his room.

“Did you tell Sam to put us here?” she asked.

Dean shook his head. “No. I guess he just thought Ben would want to be close to me and you would want to be close to Ben.”

“Uh huh,” she said, but she smiled. “Love what you’ve done with the place.” She motioned to the weapons on the wall.

“Hey, it’s my room, why not?”

“Well, better than under the bed, I guess. I didn’t notice them before when I was in here.”

Dean started laughing and Lisa soon joined in. Dean’s eyes met hers and held. Time seemed to stand still. He slowly lowered his head keeping his eyes locked on hers. Their lips met softly and for a few moments, the kiss stayed gentle. One of Dean’s hand fisted in her hair as the other wrapped around her waist to pull her closer. One of her arms also went around his waist, other hand found its way to the back of his neck. The kiss deepened and grew more passionate. They were standing close to the door and Dean reached a foot back to kick it closed. Just as he was about to push the door, he heard a voice yell down the hall.

“Mom! Dad! Where are you? Come on, pizza’s hot and Uncle Sammy said if you don’t hurry up then you are shit out of luck for dinner!”

They broke apart as if they had been burned and stared at each other. Unfulfilled passion still burned bright in their eyes.

“Damn,” Lisa said.

“Now that is an understatement,” Dean said. He shook his head as if to clear it. He tried to slow his breathing down but it wasn’t easy. “Need a minute?”

“Yeah, or ten,” she said and smiled.

“Well, if we don’t want to be _shit out of luck_ for dinner, we better go grab what we can,” Dean said. “Quite a mouth your son has on him.”

“Takes after his father,” Lisa said and turned to leave the room.

Dean grabbed her and spun her around. He bent down and kissed her again. “To hell with dinner,” he said when he raised his head.

“I’m hungry,” she said.

Dean laughed, “So am I, honey, so am I. But, I guess we better to have pizza and beer…for now.” Dean took her hand and led her out of the room. He would never admit how happy he was to still see the dazed look in her eyes as they walked down the hall to the kitchen.

  


	7. A Small Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: The rating has been changed and a couple new warnings have been added.
> 
> *****

Sam left early to go to Conway Springs to straighten out the situation with Krissy. Ben wanted to go, but both Dean and Lisa wouldn’t let him. The fight between him and Lisa the night before had Dean putting the Bunker on lockdown so Ben couldn’t slip out during the night. He was happy Sam had figured out a way to do it without all the alarms and such.

Sam didn’t see the harm in Ben going with him, but he only said this to Dean in private. In front of Ben, he supported their decision telling Ben he would explain everything to Krissy and the others. Ben stormed to his room after he realized he wasn’t going to change anyone’s mind.

Dean was up early to see Sam off and told him to call if it went south. When Sam left, he started breakfast and had it just about ready when Lisa came into the kitchen.

“Morning,” he said smiling. “Coffee’s hot, food’s just about done.”

Lisa helped herself to a cup of coffee and sat at the table. “So, how’d you sleep?” she asked.

“Not very well,” Dean said. “I…” He shrugged.

“Yes?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Nothing,” he said. “Where’s Ben?”

“Sulking, I suspect,” she said. “I knocked but he didn’t answer.”

“Nothing? Not even _go away_?”

When she shook her head, he turned and left the kitchen quickly, Lisa following behind him.

“Dean, what is it?”

Dean held up his hand as he knocked on Ben’s door. “Ben, come on, kid, breakfast is ready. Open up.” When he didn’t receive an answer, he opened the door. “Dammit,” he said as he pulled out his cell phone.

“Sam, pull over and check the car. I think you have a stowaway,” he said. “Yeah, I’ll hold on.” He looked at Lisa. “I locked the place down last night. He couldn’t get out except in the car with Sam this morning.”

She sighed. “I should have checked on him when he didn’t answer me.”

“You got him? Listen, bring his ass back here…No, Sam…Sam…Fine…but if anything happens…Yeah, I know…Okay, on your head then.” Dean hung up the phone. He shook his head. “I don’t know who is worse, Ben or Sam. Sam is taking Ben with him to Krissy’s.”

“What!? No, he needs to bring him back here. I don’t want him around hunting,” she said.

Dean reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “I know, Lisa. Sam wouldn’t let him get involved in anything. He’ll take care of him, I promise. He is as safe with him as he would be with me,” Dean said.

“I want to go and get him,” Lisa said. “We should leave now. We can’t be that far behind them.”

Dean shook his head. “Think about it. That will only upset him more. We’ll deal with this when he gets back.”

Lisa looked like she was going to argue more but finally she gave in and let out a deep breath. “If anything happens to him…”

“Nothing will,” Dean said. “You can trust Sam.”

“Okay, how about breakfast then?” she asked. Dean smiled and took her hand. They went back to the kitchen to have their first breakfast together in over five years.

After breakfast, Dean took Lisa on a full tour of the Bunker since they hadn’t gotten past the sleeping quarters yesterday. Dean wasn’t sure what they were going to do alone for at least one night, possibly more. He knew if Sam and Ben hadn’t come home with dinner last night when they did, he would have had Lisa in his bed.

He didn’t want to rush right back into a relationship with her, but being all alone in the Bunker with her, he didn’t hold out much hope of them sleeping in separate rooms tonight. The only thing that held him back from going to her last night was the fact Ben was in the room next to hers. It was the worry that Ben would find out they spent the night together that kept him in his own room and awake hoping Lisa would come to him.

Tonight, however, there was no Ben, no Sam. There was nothing to stop them from being together. He didn’t know what to do about that. He wanted nothing more than to take her to his room now and make love to her. He wondered just how she would react if he picked her up and carried her to his room.

“You have so much room here,” Lisa said as they made their way back into the main room.

“Yeah, but it is home now,” Dean said.

Lisa looked at Dean and smiled. “Home, no more life on the road, huh?”

“Some, but it is nice to know when we are on the road for a case, we have somewhere to come home to,” Dean said. “Motel rooms and sleeping in the car, we only need to do that when we travel anymore.” Dean wondered what Lisa was thinking. He had a home with her and Ben but chose to go back out on the road with Sam. Now, he was telling her he stayed here in one place except when necessary for him to be away.

“I guess I’ve grown up in the past five years. Life on the road constantly just doesn’t work anymore, not really. I’m not saying there aren’t times we are gone from here for a week or more but knowing we have this place to come back to…well, it has made a difference,” Dean said as he shrugged.

“I guess you have changed,” Lisa said. “Life on the road and hunting, that was so much a part of you five years ago, I honestly didn’t think it would ever change.”

“Neither did I,” Dean said. “But things happened and I realized there is more to life than just living day to day on the road.”

“Must have been some pretty big stuff,” she said.

Dean nodded. “I will tell you if you want to know, but honestly, most of it…”

“You’d rather not talk about,” Lisa said. “It’s okay, Dean. I understand.” She pulled out her phone and looked at it. “Do you think Ben would get upset if I called him?”

Dean smiled. “Probably. Let me call Sam. This way, we can check on Ben without Ben knowing about it.”

“Okay,” Lisa said as she put her phone away.

Dean called Sam who reported Ben was currently at the house with the others while he was at the police station checking to see what they had on the case. He promised to have Ben call his mother when he got back to the house.

“So, we have some time before Ben calls, what do you want to do?” Dean asked. He knew what he wanted to do, but he was doing his best to keep his thoughts away from taking Lisa to bed.

“Actually, I…” she looked away from him as if embarrassed or gathering her thoughts.

“What? Lisa, what do you want to do?” Dean held his breath, he didn’t think she was thinking what he was, but he could always hope.

“I really could use a shower,” she said and looked back at him.

“A shower? Ah, okay,” Dean said. ‘Well, that isn’t what was on my mind,’ he thought. “Okay, no problem. I…umm…I have some things to check on…for Sam. I’ll be out here when you are done.” He smiled and turned away.

‘Yeah, I’ll be out here trying not to think of you naked in the shower,’ he thought. He heard her walk away, heard her steps hesitate in the doorway for a moment before continuing down the hall. When he heard the door to the bathroom close a few minutes later, he finally moved from where he stood frozen.

He went and poured whiskey into a glass and drank it down. He poured a second shot, drank that then put the whiskey away and went to get a bottle of beer. Bottle in hand, he sat at the kitchen table with his laptop. He checked news reports around Conway Springs for anything new. That took about two minutes. He closed the laptop and picked up his beer.

‘You will sit here like a good boy, Dean Winchester,’ he told himself. ‘You will not go and join her in the shower.’

“To hell with this,” he said as he stood. The only thought on his mind was Lisa. He took one step when his phone rang.

“What?” he growled as he answered the call.

“Whoa, bad time? Did I interrupt something?” Sam asked with amusement in his voice.

“Yes, no, never mind. What’s up?” Dean asked as he sat back down.

“Everything is taken care of here. It was just a couple vamps, not a true nest as far as I can tell. We’re just going to stay here tonight. I want to go over some things with Krissy and the others before we head back. That is unless you want us to come back tonight?”

The question and its underlining meaning was clear. Did Dean want to be alone with Lisa tonight or did he want them there as a buffer?

“You need to make sure they are all right there,” Dean said. “Those kills were sloppy. Things like that will get those kids in trouble damn quick.” Dean just couldn’t come right out and tell Sam to stay there for the night, it would make it seem so planned if something did happen tonight between him and Lisa.

“I can take care of that quick enough,” Sam said. “But…well…maybe Ben would like to spend the night. We did just yank him away pretty quick, he didn’t really have time to say goodbye.”

“Yeah, might be good for him to have time to say goodbye,” Dean said.

“Do you want to check with Lisa, see what she thinks?” Sam asked.

“No, umm, she’s in the shower. Besides, I’m his father, I…I can make a decision for my son. I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” he said and hung up the phone.

‘Holy shit,’ he thought. ‘Did I just actually say that? _My son_?’ “Holy shit!” he said.

“Hope that doesn’t mean anything bad,” Lisa said as she came into the kitchen and indicated his phone with her hand.

“What?” Dean asked confused. He looked down at the phone still in his hand. “Oh, no, it was just Sam. Everything is fine there.” He rushed to reassure her. “They are just going to stay there tonight and come back tomorrow. Give Ben some time to say a proper goodbye to his friends.”

“And who made this decision? If everything is done then why don’t they just come back now?” she asked.

“I told Sam it was okay,” Dean said.

“Without checking with me?” Lisa’s voice had a bit of an edge to it.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I made a decision that _my son_ could spend the night saying goodbye to his friends that he will probably never see again. Sue me,” Dean said, his tone matching hers.

“Your son? _Your son_? Really? And what gives you the right—”

Dean held up a hand. “Stop right there. Ben _is_ my son and whether you like it or not, I am going to be part of his life and make decisions concerning his future,” Dean said. He stood and took his empty beer bottle over to the trash and threw it in the can. He went over to the old refrigerator and opened it. “Want one?” he asked, holding up a bottle of beer. When she shook her head, he shrugged and just took one out for himself.

“Now, where were we? Oh yeah, talking about my letting Ben stay with Sam down at Krissy’s. Someplace he lived for a few months and we just strolled in a couple days ago and ripped him out of, no warning, no time to say goodbye, no nothing.”

“Where he spent all that time hunting!” Lisa argued.

“Yeah, he hunted while he was there,” Dean agreed. “But that was then and this is now. Sam isn’t going to let him do any hunting. I’m just giving him the night to say goodbye to his friends, Lisa, that’s all. Better to do it with Sam there than have him take off again to go down there on his own, don’t you think?”

She took a minute to consider it then nodded. “But you still should have checked with me.”

“I give up! You just don’t get it, do you? Lisa, you need to understand this now, Ben is my son and I’ll be damned if I am going to _check_ with you for every little thing, every little decision concerning him.” Dean’s anger had finally snapped and rather than say something he would regret later on, he turned and left the kitchen.

Lisa sighed. She went over and got herself a bottle of beer and sat down at the table to drink it alone. She knew she had some serious thinking to do about Ben and Dean and just what happens next in all of their lives.    


	8. Temper Tantrum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter because I didn't want to short change the next part.
> 
> *****

Lisa finished her beer and Dean still hadn’t returned to the kitchen. She pulled her phone out and debated for a minute before she decided to call Ben. As she was about to dial his number, she remembered he told her his phone had been broken. She sighed. ‘Okay,’ she thought, ‘I can’t call him and I don’t have Sam’s number. Now what?’ She was considering going and looking for Dean to ask him for Sam’s number when her phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello?”

“Mom, it’s me,” Ben said.

“Ben! I was just thinking about you,” she said. “Remind me when you get back, we need to get you a new phone.”

“Yeah, okay. Listen, are you okay with me staying here tonight?” he asked.

Lisa smiled. ‘Take that, Dean. You may have said it was okay for him to stay there, but here he is checking with me to make sure.’ “Yeah, honey, it’s okay.”

“You don’t mind being there alone with Dean, I mean Dad, all night?”

Was that the reason behind his calling to check to see if it was okay to stay there for the night? Because he didn’t know if she wanted to be alone with Dean?

“Mom? Look, we can come home tonight. No problem,” Ben said but the disappointment was clear in his voice.

“No, it is okay. I’ll see you tomorrow when you get back,” Lisa said. She couldn’t deny him the chance to spend one last night with his friends.

“If you’re sure,” Ben said. “We’ll be home around lunchtime. Love you, Mom.”

She heard the click as Ben hung up the phone. She didn’t know if Dean was going to hide for the rest of the night or what but she was getting hungry. So, she would make dinner for them and if she ate alone, so be it. She would just put a plate away for him and leave a note taped to the fridge telling him it was there.

There wasn’t much by the way of choices for her to make dinner. ‘What in the hell did these two live on?’ she wondered. If she was going to be staying here for awhile, then tomorrow they needed to go shopping. She found some frozen hamburgers and fries. There were a few slices of cheese and half a pack of bacon in the fridge. Bacon cheeseburgers and fries for dinner. The buns she found were a bit stale but if she toasted them, they would be okay.

She was pulling the fries out of the oven when Dean came into the kitchen. ‘I should have known the smell of food would bring him out of his hidey-hole,’ she thought.

“Dinner’s done,” she said, keeping her voice neutral and extremely polite.

“I’d of cooked,” Dean said. “Anything you want me to do?” His voice was just as polite as hers was.

“I think beer would go with these,” she said. 

He nodded and moved over to grab a couple bottles for them. By the time he got back to the table, she had their plates already set down on there.

“Looks good,” he said as he sat down and picked his burger up. Taking a bite, he smiled.

“So, Ben called. He wanted to make sure I was okay with him staying until tomorrow,” she said. She was absolutely not going to tell him about his concern over her being alone with Dean.

“Hmm,” Dean said. “Smooth move, gotta hand it to him.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I mean, he snuck out and hid in the car which he knew would tick you off. He had to know he was going to be in trouble for that little stunt when he got back here. So, to help lessen that anger he calls and checks, asks your permission to stay. I’m betting not only did he ask that, but he also brought up something about you and me being alone here and offered to come back because of that.” Dean could see by her face Ben did bring that up. He waited to see if she would deny it.

“You think he was trying to pull one over on me to get out of his punishment for his actions?” Dean nodded. “Well, it isn’t going to work,” Lisa said firmly.

Dean nodded. “It’s what I would’ve done. But I hope you don’t fall for it. Cause he needs to know things like that, don’t fly around here,” Dean said. “Any more burgers over there?” He nodded towards the stove. When she nodded, he stood and went to get more food. “You want any?”

“No, I’m fine.” She decided she wasn’t in the mood to start fighting with him again so she let his last comment go. “We need to do some grocery shopping. There isn’t any food here. If Ben and I are going to be here for even a few days, there has to be food.”

“We can go in the morning,” Dean said. “Sam has my car, so we can just take yours instead of waiting for them to get back.”

“Ben said they would be back around lunchtime, so if we go in the morning, we’ll be here when they get here,” she said.

They were quiet as they finished eating. When Lisa made to stand to clear the table, Dean laid his hand on her arm. “Nope, you cooked, I’ll clean up.”

“I don’t mind,” she said. When he shook his head, she sighed. “Okay, fine. I’m going to go get my laptop then and check my email and stuff.”

“Sounds good,” Dean said as he began clearing the table. Dean had no idea what they were going to do all evening. There were only two tvs, one in Sam’s room and one in his. He didn’t think it would take her long to check her email. He could suggest they go to the movies, but he had no idea what was even in the movies. He could take her to the local bar, but drinking probably wasn’t the best idea. It used to be so easy between them, why was it so difficult now?

He found her sitting in the library when he finished in the kitchen. She was looking at the books on the shelves.

“All of these,” she said as she indicated the books with a wave of her hand, “are about things you hunt?”

“Well, they are about the supernatural,” he said. “Reference books the Men of Letters collected.”

“Sam mentioned something about them to Ben. Who were they?”

Dean motioned for her to sit down and he sat next to her. “They were a group who collected information on all things supernatural. They only shared it with a few trusted hunters. In general, they didn’t like hunters much. Our grandfather on the Winchester side was one. That makes me and Sam, Legacies. Which makes Ben one, too.”

“Legacies, huh? So these, Men of Letters just collected all this stuff but didn’t hunt?”

“Nope, they just stored the information as well as some pretty weird stuff,” Dean said.

“Like what?”

“We found the key to Oz,” Dean said. He felt the pang of loss when he thought about that though because it reminded him of Charlie. It must have shown on his face because Lisa reached out and laid a hand on his arm.

“Dean? What is it?”

“Nothing, just…someone else who died because of me,” he said. He stood and went over to the cabinet where they kept the whiskey. He grabbed the decanter from the top and two glassed before returning to sit back down.

“I’m confused. You said the key for Oz? Oz, like the Wizard of Oz? The storybook?” Lisa took the glass Dean offered her.

“Yeah, Wicked Witch and all,” Dean said with a soft smile. “Dorothy came here long ago looking for help with the Wicked Witch. She ended up trapped with her.” He took a deep breath and drained his glass. “We found the old computer that runs this place, but neither of us knew anything about it. So, we called the only person we could think of who might be able to help us, Charlie. Anyway, Dorothy had trapped the witch but also herself in a bottle which got knocked off a shelf. We fought the witch, saved the day. Charlie went with Dorothy to Oz looking for her quest, for adventure.”

“Did something happen to her in Oz?” Lisa asked.

“Yes and no,” Dean said. “She came back with her personality split into two people, good Charlie, and bad Charlie. We sorted that out. No, it was after that…Let’s just say, she was doing something I told Sam I didn’t want done, but you know Sam, he did it anyway and Charlie died, end of story.”

“Somehow, I think there is a lot more to it than that,” Lisa said. “Sam wouldn’t just go against your wishes unless it was to save your life.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I didn’t want to be saved, I didn’t deserve to be saved,” he said. He filled his glass and drank it down before throwing it across the room.

“Feel better now?” Lisa asked. Dean glared at her. “I have a moody seventeen-year-old son, your temper tantrums are nothing compared to his.”

“You ain’t seen anything yet, baby,” he said. “Don’t push me. You don’t know what I have done, how many people are dead because of me.” He reached for the decanter of whiskey but Lisa beat him to it.

“You’re not throwing that,” she said. “As it is, you have a mess of glass to clean up already.”

“Screw it,” he said.

“Now that would be painful,” Lisa said, her voice perfectly deadpan.

Dean whipped his head up from looking at the decanter to look at her. “What?”

“Screwing that broken glass, it would be painful, don’t you think?”

His anger drained away in an instant. How did she do that? No matter what the situation, she always could make him feel better. Even when he was grieving so deeply for his brother, she was his one light in the darkness.

“Lisa,” he said as he looked down at her. “I…oh hell.” He reached down and scooped her up in his arms. As he walked towards his room, he gave her one last chance to stop him. “Tell me no now and I’ll leave you in your room. But know this, you better stay in there all night cause if you come out, I’m not going to be responsible for what happens.”

“And what if I don’t want to say no?”


	9. Have I Lost My Touch?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is purely a bedroom scene. If that bothers you, you can skip it and not lose the plotline. It is completely a sexual chapter.
> 
> *****

“Then there is no problem, is there?” he asked. He stood in the hallway between their rooms. “Yes or no? Which is it?” His heart was pounding in his chest with the fear she would say no.

She made a show of looking at her door and his before looking up at him. She smiled and said, “Dean, shut up and take me to bed.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. He managed to open his door without putting her down, a swift kick of his foot closed it again. He set her down when he was next to the bed and impatiently ripped the covers back. He turned back to her and fisted one of his hands in her hair and the other arm, he wrapped around her back and pulled her close. He lowered his head as he looked into her eyes.

He was determined to go slowly, to savor having her with him again. That resolve lasted for about ten seconds once their lips met. He couldn’t get enough of her, he felt as if a lifetime had passed since he was in her bed.

Within a minute they were both doing their best to undress each other. He heard buttons of his shirt hit the floor as her impatient hands tore at his clothing. Gasping for air, he pulled his head back. “Hey, slow down, honey. We have all night. Here, let me help you.” He unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and slid if off his shoulders. He watched as she pulled her t-shirt over her head. He groaned as she slid her jeans down and then pulled them off. Her socks came off with her jeans. She reached for his belt.

“Lees,” he whispered as he laid his hand over hers.

“Shh, let me,” she said. He dropped his hand away as she unhooked his belt and then the button on his jeans. She slowly unzipped his jeans and then slid her hands on each side of his waist to ease his jeans down. As her hands trailed down his bare legs, he again groaned.

He grabbed her by the arms and brought her upright to face him. He kicked his jeans away, grateful he didn’t put shoes on either after his shower earlier and pulled her onto the bed on top of him.

“Dean, we still have too many clothes on,” she said as she sat up on her knees and reached behind to unhook her bra.

He stopped her hand. “Sweetheart, we have all night. We’ll get there.”

This time, Lisa was the one who groaned. “Have I ever told you that you are the most infuriating man alive?”

Dean chuckled. “You may have mentioned it, once or twice.” He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down into a kiss.

His intent was to keep the kiss soft and gentle. He wanted to take his time with her, to savor each moment of this reunion. Lisa had other ideas.

Balancing herself on one hand, she began to let the other wander. She let her hand trail down his neck to his shoulder and down his chest. She gently caressed his nipple as her hand brushed over it.

An involuntary moan escaped from his lips. One of Dean’s hands moved from her shoulder to her hair and the other slid down her back. He was tempted to unhook her bra but wanted to prolong the building tension. Instead, he traced her bra strap around from the back to the front where he cupped her breast as she was doing to him. He would match her move for move.

Lisa broke off the kiss and dropped her head to his neck. Biting gently in the sensitive spot just under his ear, she smiled. She let the tip of her tongue glide softly over his earlobe and was rewarded with another soft moan. She slowly inched her hand down his chest. As she did this, she began to follow the path her hand had taken with soft kisses.

Dean’s hands dropped to his side. He was helpless under her to do anything but lay there. As much as he wanted to grab her and end this torture, he was not going to short-change either of them.

Lisa moved her position so she was kneeling along his thighs. She could see exactly how much Dean wanted her and smiled. Starting at each of his hips, she ran a finger under the waistband of his boxers. As she did, she looked up at him and saw he had his arms raised with his hands clasped under his head. He was watching her, his green eyes glazed with passion.

Not taking her eyes off his, she began to inch his boxers down over his hips. She broke eye contact to adjust her position so she could remove them completely and toss them across the room. Once she was again straddling his thighs, she bent low to trail her tongue along the slight indentation of his hip bone. She felt the shudder go through him. She kept her hands on the bed next to his hips, just barely touching his skin.

It was everything Dean could do to just lay there and not grab Lisa and throw her body under his. He never would be accused of having patience, but right now, he thought he should be given a freaking award for it. His fingers dug into his scalp as he prayed he would be able to sustain this level of patience.

Lisa knew where to linger and what Dean liked. She wasn’t sure just how much he could take, but she was going to push and push until he broke. She figured about now, he was congratulating himself on his patience, but she was determined to send him right over the edge.

She slid her tongue across his body to his other hip. As she did, she let it wander slightly lower but kept it just far enough from where she knew he wanted it. She slowly brought her hands up his thighs gently kneading as they moved. Her tongue began its trek lower very slowly.

Lisa felt his muscles stiffen in anticipation. Her hands reached their target before her tongue did and gently stoked him. The inhaled breath when they grasped him told her all she needed to know. She glanced up without lifting her head and saw he hadn’t moved his hands but noted the veins in his arms stood out in perfect relief confirming her instinct he was fast running out of patience for her little games.

She lifted her head slightly and let out a soft breath over the top of his shaft. She waited only a few seconds before she let her tongue trace where her breath had chilled.

“Lees.” His voice was strained. He didn’t know what he wanted, for her to continue, for her to stop. All he knew was he wanted.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay,” she whispered. With those words, she lowered her head. She gave him something she never gave another man. This was something only between them.

Dean world began to shatter around him. He couldn’t breathe. His hands moved of their own accord and found their way to her hair to wind their way through its silky strands. He would stop her…in a minute…it just felt so damn good.

His orgasm struck him so suddenly, he could do nothing to stop it. One second, he was telling himself he was going to stop her and the next he was fisting his hands in her hair and crying out as his release overcame all thought.

Dean’s brain was still foggy as he felt Lisa move to lay next to him. He pulled her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head. He just needed a minute to catch his breath. Then she would pay for that.

“Guess I haven’t lost my touch,” Lisa said smugly.

Dean propped himself up on an elbow. “Oh really? Well, let’s see if I have,” he said mischievously. He pushed her back so she was in a prone position. He raised her hands above her shoulders and tucked them under her head. “Now, don’t move, or I’ll have to go and get my handcuffs.”

“Promises, promises,” she said.

“Honey, you know I don’t make promises that I don’t keep.” He winked at her which had her giggling.

He began in the same way as she had by kissing her throat, but where she was gentle, he nipped. On her collarbone, he left a mark when he sucked a bit too hard. He made short work of removing her bra and tossing it away. His mouth spent equal time kissing, suckling, and biting each of her nipples. Her moans only added fuel to the fire that was once again burning in his belly.

He slowly slid his body down hers never breaking contact as his hands and mouth covered every inch of her chest and abdomen. His body wedged itself between her legs as he moved lower. He made sure to tease her with his tongue in exactly the same way she did him. He left bruises though on the inside of each hip when he sucked too hard.

As she did with him, he ran his fingers under the edge of the skimpy panties she wore. He wondered with the amount of fabric, why she even bothered to wear anything.

“I’ll buy you another pair,” he said. Before Lisa could ask what he was talking about, he gripped one of the thin strips of cotton over a hip and ripped it. He repeated the gesture with the other side. He lifted her hips to remove the torn bit of material. It followed the same path her bra did just a few minutes ago.

He saw the red marks forming and his only thought was she is mine. He could feel her breathing quicken just as his did. He smiled. He very slowly let his tongue glide lower as he gently rubbed the palm of his hand over the center of her arousal.

As he dipped his tongue lower, he parted her with his fingers for better access. He felt her breath hitch. He slid a finger into her and she cried out and arched her back. Her hands were fisted in his hair as his were in hers just a few minutes ago.

He knew she would not last long. He slowed the movement of his finger, leaving it deep inside her. He licked carefully around her center, everywhere but the one spot he knew she needed it the most. He would drag this out as long as he could.

“Dean, please,” she cried.

“No, honey, you are going to pay for that little stunt you just pulled,” he said. She groaned. Dean chuckled. “Let’s just see how much you can take.”

He slid another finger inside her and ever so slowly moved them in and out. He continued to tease her with his tongue though every once in a while, he would hit just the right spot for a split second causing her to moan and the grip on his hair to tighten. After only a few more minutes, he couldn’t take anymore. He wasn’t mean, after all.

He moved to place his other hand on her lower stomach. He knew she would buck when he finally sent her over the edge. It was easier to hold her down then to get knocked onto the floor which had happened on one very memorable night.

He increased the tempo of his fingers at the same time as he let his tongue find the sweet spot that he knew would send her over the edge. The reaction was instantaneous. Her screams would have woke anyone sleeping anywhere in the Bunker. If he didn’t have her anchored down with his hand, he would have found himself on the floor. He wondered how much hair she pulled out with her death grip.

He slowed his hand and tongue as he felt her shudders subsiding. When her hands fell away and onto the bed, he lifted his head and slowly removed his fingers. He laid his hand over her gently pressing as he felt the last shudders of her orgasm leaving her.

Dean shifted his body so he could ease his way up beside her and pulled her into his arms. “So, have I lost _my_ touch?” he asked innocently.

“Hmm, what?” she asked sleepily.

“Oh, no you don’t,” he said. “It is too early for sleep. We are just getting started.” He lightly slapped her ass.

Her eyes flew open. “Oh, really? Maybe I just want to curl up and go to sleep,” she said.

“We’ll see about that, missy,” Dean said. He bent down and took her mouth in a rough kiss. When she would have pulled away, he just put a hand in her hair so she couldn’t move.

Lisa had no intention of sleeping but she wasn’t going to give in so easily. He wanted to play dirty, did he? Okay, she could play that game. She moved her arm along his side slowly and found the spot just where his ribs ended and attacked. He only had one spot where he was ticklish and she knew where it was. She knew she would lose this fight since she was very ticklish, but the initial satisfaction was worth it.

He reared back and froze. Unwanted laughter sprang from his lips. She doubled her attack as she knew if she gave him a second to gather himself, she was doomed. Lisa felt him tense. She moved quickly to jump out of the bed. She made it three steps before she felt the steel bands of his arms around her waist dragging her back. He tossed her on the bed and climbed on top of her.

“Not a smart move,” he said, eyes gleaming as he flexed his fingers above her. “Now, where should I start?”

She was already giggling just watching him wriggling his fingers in her face with his green eyes alight with humor. She could also feel he was hard and ready for her. That could be her out, her way of not being tortured by his hands.

She moved her hips suggestively under him as she stroked her hands down his chest. “Dean, isn’t there anything else you’d rather do right now?” she asked seductively.

“Oh, no, wench, this is exactly what I want to do,” he said. He began to lower his hands.

Lisa was desperate. She moved her hands quickly to grip him and he froze. She bit her tongue to keep from smiling.

“Oh, no you don’t,” he said as he shifted to lift away from her body to prevent her from doing what she was about to do.

“I think my idea is a much better idea, don’t you?” She squeezed him as she pulled him back towards her warmth.

“Lees,” he groaned.

She felt his shudder as his hands dropped to each side of her. She guided him into her depths and slid her hand out to allow him to seat himself completely inside her.

He didn’t move for a full ten seconds. Then he dropped down and captured her lips with his. He withdrew himself slowly from her until just the very tip of his manhood remained inside her. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes and drove himself deeply into her.

She met him thrust for thrust, stroke for stroke. Hands roamed, lips met, and teeth bit into flesh. Neither noticed pain of these bites but actually moved to allow easier access to skin. Lisa wrapped her legs around Dean’s waist as they moved together to find release.

“Dean!” she cried out.

Dean knew what she was close. He took a deep breath and increased his pace. He knew what she wanted, what she needed. He was going to make damn sure she got it before he found his own satisfaction.

When her breathing began to come in short gasps, he knew she was just seconds away. He pulled her head down and kissed her deeply as his other hand stroked her nipple. He caught her cries in his mouth and let himself go. Just as he did, she was kissing him when he cried out from his orgasm.

He didn’t move for a few minutes, but he kept his weight on his arms as not to crush her. He rolled off her and drew her into his arms. He waiting until her breathing evened out before standing and going to the sink. He snagged a t-shirt he had thrown over the back of a chair and ran it under hot water. He walked back to the bed and began to gently wipe down her thighs. She had her eyes closed but a small smile was on her face.  

He cleaned himself off and tossed the t-shirt aside. He laid back down and pulled her back into his arms. He drew the covers up over the both of them. He reached over and switched off the light.

He gently kissed her closed eyelids. “Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispered.


	10. The Same Yet Different

Dean kept his eyes closed as he tried to figure out where he was, what rundown motel in what backwoods town. He felt the warmth of the female body in his arms and sighed. This was why he didn’t spend the night with anyone, he hated the ‘morning after talk’.

He wanted nothing more than to drift back to sleep, but he knew if he didn’t slip out now while he had the chance, he’d have to go into the whole, ‘It’s been fun, sweetheart, but…’ speech and he actually felt too damn relaxed for that.

‘Wait,’ he thought, ‘what the hell?’ He felt good and not empty? His eyes flew open as memories flooded through his mind of exactly what happened last night and who he was in bed with. His body tensed and Lisa murmured in her sleep and snuggled closer to him.

His eyes drifted down to look at the woman in his arms but all he could clearly see was the top of Lisa’s head resting on his chest. He closed his eyes and forced his body to relax as the memories rolled like a movie through his mind.

Dean felt no regret or guilt over what happened. They both made the choice with a clear mind. If she had said no, he would have put her down in her room and walked away. It would have taken every ounce of self-control he possessed, but he would have done it. Wasn’t that the reason he didn’t touch her or kiss her when he carried her down the hall? He wanted her to make the choice without passion clouding her mind.

He heard his phone ringing and glanced at his bedside table before realizing it was still in his pants pocket. He considered his options, disturb Lisa to get his phone when he knew it was most likely only Sam calling, let her sleep, or disturb her for an entirely different reason and then after call Sam back. He didn’t have time to make a decision on his own because the phone woke Lisa and her hand slid down his body and took all thoughts out of his mind.

When they again laid curled up next to each other, Dean heard his phone ringing again. “Dammit,” he muttered. “I better get that before Sam freaks out.” He got up and retrieved his phone from his jeans. He returned to the warm spot next to Lisa. He didn’t bother listening to the voicemails Sam left, he just called him.

“What’s up?” he asked when Sam immediately answered.

“Where the hell have you been? Why didn’t you answer when I called an hour ago?”

“Ever hear of sleeping, bro?” Dean asked. He looked down at Lisa and winked.

“I called at eight, you don’t sleep past six,” Sam said.

“Trying something new,” Dean said. “So, you gonna answer my question? What’s so damn important that had you calling me so early?”

“Just figured I would let you know, we are on our way back,” Sam said. At Dean’s curse, Sam laughed. “Sleeping, huh? Yeah, I figured it was something like that which is why I called so early.” Sam’s smug tone had Dean cursing again. “Listen, I’ll give you a bit of extra time to…ahh…well, whatever. We’ll stop at the store on the way home.”

“We were planning on going there this morning,” Dean said.

“We got it,” Sam said. “We’re making good time, so we should get in around one or so depending on how long we are at the store.”

“We’ll be here,” Dean said. He was about to hang up when he heard Sam call to him.

“Oh, Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Ben said to tell you he is happy you two didn’t kill each other last night,” Sam said.

“It was closer than you know.” The words tumbled from Dean’s mouth without conscious thought.

“Did you see the light?” Sam asked.

Dean could hear the barely controlled laughter in Sam’s voice but it didn’t stop him from replying, “More than once, dude, more than once.”

Three things happened at once; Sam’s laughter rang through the phone, Dean breath whooshed out as Lisa punched him in the ribs and his cell phone was pulled from his hand.

“Sam, I am hanging up the phone now so I can properly beat your brother bloody. Fair warning, you are next.” She hung up the phone with Sam’s laughter still loudly coming from it. She tossed the phone on the bedside table and looked down at Dean.

His eyes were bright with anticipation and he had a grin on his face. Her decision was quick. She hopped out of bed and before he could move, left the room. Once she was in her room, she leaned back against the closed door as she smiled to herself.

She didn’t think he would follow her but she knew eventually she would be in trouble for that little tease. She heard the conversation between Dean and Sam since he held the phone to his ear closest to her. She knew she had a few hours before they would be back to provide a buffer between her and Dean. She just had to avoid giving him an opportunity in which to coax her back to bed.

She needed a shower. She put her robe on, grabbed her stuff, and peeked out her door. His door was still closed so she tip-toed down the hall and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Dean heard her come out of her room and then the bathroom door close. He heard the shower turn on. It would be a simple thing for him to join her even if she locked the door. When had a locked door ever stopped him?

As tempting as it was, he decided it would be more fun to spend the day teasing her. He knew she was expecting him to seek revenge for her threat and leaving him so suddenly but if he didn’t react it would be so much more fun.

He, too, needed a shower but he would wait until after breakfast. Since they weren’t going anywhere, he dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. The shower was still running when he left his room. His body yearned to turn towards the bathroom, but his mind forced his feet to turn and walk to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Lisa smelled the coffee when she opened the bathroom door, just a faint whiff but enough to let her know Dean was up and about. She hurried to her room to dress.

“Hey, coffee’s hot and this will be done in a minute,” Dean said as she came into the kitchen ten minutes later.

Lisa watched Dean out of the corner of her eye as she fixed herself a cup of coffee. He seemed perfectly relaxed as he transferred the contents of the frying pan onto a plate. She walked over to the table noting as she did there was an empty coffee cup already there. She picked up the cup went back to the pot and fixed Dean a fresh cup of coffee. She set the cup down and was sitting down just as Dean set plates down at both of their places.

“Sorry these aren’t much, but as you know, there wasn’t much I could put in them,” he said.

Lisa looked down at the omelet on her plate. She could see tiny bits of green peppers and cut up slices of ham along with streaks of yellow indicating he had added cheese. “These look great,” she said as she smiled at him.

“There wasn’t any bacon,” he said frowning.

“Oops,” she said and chuckled.

He raised his eyebrows. “Oops? That’s all you can say? Oops? If it wasn’t for the fact those cheeseburgers were so damn good last night, I’d show you what happens when you don’t think ahead to breakfast.”

“Promises, promises,” she said.

“What did I tell you about my promises?” he asked.

“I hear a lot of talk, but…” She shrugged her shoulders. She knew she was playing a dangerous game but she couldn’t stop herself. It was just too much fun to tease him. This Dean who was so familiar yet so different from _her_ Dean.

Whatever his response was going to be, it was cut off by the sound of a text message on his phone. He pulled it out and looked at it. A smiled crossed his face and his eyes brightened with a look so deeply lovingly it stunned her.

She continued to eat while he answered the text. She wouldn’t ask who it was from. She doubted from the look in his eyes that it was from Sam. Maybe Ben? ‘No,’ she thought, ‘that look wasn’t the same look he had in his eyes when he looked at Ben. That look was pure unconditional deep-seated love.’

The omelet tasted like cardboard in her mouth. The pain came so suddenly across her chest, she momentarily couldn’t breathe. When had she fallen back in love with him? ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid,’ she berated herself.

“Sorry about that,” he said as he set his phone aside. “Umm, I should probably try to explain who that was.”

“You don’t have to explain anything,” she said, her voice clipped.

“Yeah, I do,” Dean said. “I just don’t know where to start since you don’t know what’s happened since you last saw me.” He ran a hand over his face. “This isn’t going to be easy. That was my mom.”

“Your mom? Seriously, Dean. You’re trying to tell me your mom, who has been dead since you were four years old, just texted you? Even I’m not that gullible,” she said.

“She was dead, but she’s not now,” Dean said smiling. He reached for his phone. He pulled up the text message and passed her the phone to read the message.

_Mom: Just checking in to let you know I’m okay. I love you and Sam, too. Talk soon._

_Love you too, Mom._

“But, how?” she asked as she handed him back the phone. The crushing pain in her chest eased a little.

“Umm, end of the world, God, his sister, the usual,” Dean said as he smiled.

“The usual? Oh, okay…”

Dean grinned at her. “Just another day at the office for the Winchesters, sweety.” He saluted her with his fork before scooping up another bite of his eggs.

Lisa had her fork halfway to her mouth when something he said hit her. “Wait, did you say God’s sister? God has a sister?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, the Darkness, well, her name is Amara.”

“Uh-huh,” she murmured. “And you’ve met her?”

“You could say that,” he said. “Met God, too, though he prefers to be called Chuck.”

“Chuck?”

Dean burst out laughing at her expression. “Nice guy, all in all, I guess. Once you get over the whole issue of him walking away from heaven crap.” He finished the last bite of his omelet and since her plate was also empty, reached out and picked it up along with his. He stood and took them both over to the sink and set them down. He turned and bumped into her nearly knocking her off her feet. His hands reached out instinctively to grab her.

“Whoa, steady there,” he said. He watched as her brown eyes clouded over. He pulled her closer and dipped his head. As her mouth parted, he stopped and kissed her forehead before letting her go. He smacked her on the backside lightly as he moved around her.

“I cooked, you get to do the dishes,” he said. “I’m going to take a shower.” He didn’t wait for her reaction as he walked out of the kitchen whistling.

“Dishes, okay,” she said quietly. She turned and walked over to the table to grab their coffee cups. Her legs were shaky. ‘He didn’t even kiss me,’ she thought. She knew how to handle her Dean, but this new Dean, she was beginning to think he was way out of her league.

She washed the dishes and set them aside to dry then went to work on scrubbing down the stove and counters. She noticed last night that they really needed a good cleaning. She wondered just how long she could drag out her cleaning of the kitchen. She glanced at the clock, it was only ten-thirty and Sam said they wouldn’t be back until one at the earliest. Two and a half hours to kill, no way she could clean for that long.


	11. Like Father, Like Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait for an update. I've had some internet issues.

Sam was still laughing as he hung up his phone and tossed it on the seat next to him. While he was happy for his brother, he was also worried about what would happen should Lisa decide she didn't want a relationship.

“What light?”

Ben’s innocent question had Sam’s laughter starting again. ‘Okay, Sam, explain this one to the kid,’ he thought.

“Well? And before you say it was nothing, remember what I said about being treated like a kid.” The warning was clear in the tone of Ben’s voice.

Sam took a deep breath. He couldn't tell him the real reason for his laughter. Whether he liked it or not, Ben was still a child. While he didn't take Lisa’s phone threat seriously, if he told her son that his mom and dad had spent the night having hot sex, she would kill him and if she didn't, his brother likely would.

“Ben, it was just a side joke between Dean and me—”

“Bullshit!” Ben exclaimed as he punched the dash with his fist. “They slept together, didn't they?”

‘Truth or lie?’ Sam wondered. He could feel Ben’s eyes on him and knew he had no choice, he nodded.

Ben was silent for a moment before he said, “At least they’re not fighting anymore.” He then reached out and punched Sam in the face.

It was a good thing Sam was driving slowly because it was all he could do to keep the Impala on the road. Krissy warned them Ben had a hell of a right cross and she was right. He pulled over to the side of the road and looked at Ben.

Sam reached up and stroked his jaw where Ben’s fist had made contact. “What the hell was that for?” he asked.

“I don’t know what the you two were joking about, but I won’t let anyone making rude comments about my mom. I don’t care if it is my dad or you,” he said, his voice filled with anger.

“Whoa, hold up,” Sam said as he saw Ben’s fist clenching again. “First of all, the comment wasn't about your mom, and second, your mom heard the conversation and trust me, Dean is paying for what he jokingly said.”

“If it wasn't about her, then why was she upset?”

He had him there. “I think because with what Dean said I know what happened between them last night. I’m not sure she was ready to have anyone know about it yet. That and Dean was bragging a bit.”

“So he was taking shit about my mom,” Ben said.

Sam sighed and shook his head. “No, he wasn't. Honest. I know it may seem that way, but he wasn't insulting your mom.”

“Whatever you say,” Ben said. “Listen, would you mind if we just went straight back to the Bunker? I hate going grocery shopping.”

Sam had a feeling going to the grocery store had nothing to do with Ben’s sudden desire to get back to the Bunker. He nodded and pulled back onto the road. He reached for the phone to call Dean to tell him they would be back sooner than expected but Ben grabbed the phone first.

“Who you calling?” he asked.

“I was going to call your mom and dad and let them know we aren't going to the store,” Sam said.

Ben smiled. “No, you weren't. You were going to call them to give them a heads up that we were going to be there early so we wouldn't walk in on anything.” At Sam’s guilty look, Ben threw the phone in the glove compartment. “Yeah, I’m not a kid, I can figure things out.” He slammed the small door shut. “No advanced warning for them.”

Sam hoped they wouldn't ‘walk in on anything’ as Ben put it, as he drove down the nearly empty road. He could feel the tension still radiating off Ben but had no idea how to calm him down. He hoped the drive would do it.

*****

The kitchen was gleaming. Lisa had scrubbed and cleaned every surface she could think of to clean, even the oven. She glanced at the clock, eleven-thirty. Well, she only had to survive another hour and half or so. Dean came in and strode over to grab an empty cup for coffee. She could smell the woodsy scent of whatever soap he used as he walked close to her on his way to the shelves where the cups sat. As he passed behind her, he leaned down and with one hand slid her hair aside as his mouth nipped at her neck, then he walked away to fill his coffee cup before striding out of the kitchen. He didn't say a word at all.

She knew she couldn't hide out in here until Sam and Ben got back. She took a deep breath and walked out of the kitchen. She saw Dean sitting at the table with his laptop open. She straightened her spine and walked over to join him.

“Dean!” Sam’s voice called out from the hall as he and Ben came into the room from the garage.

“Sam? What are—” His words were cut off as a fist connected with his jaw snapping his head back and had him seeing stars.

“BEN!” Lisa yelled.

“Shit,” Sam said. He raced over and grabbed Ben from behind. “Okay, calm down. You got your shot in.” Ben kicked back and caught Sam in the shin. “Ouch, hey, enough.” Sam tightened his grip as Ben struggled to break free.

“What the hell is going on?” Lisa asked.

Dean sat rubbing his jaw as he eyed his furious son. He didn't want to make any assumptions as to why Ben was so angry, but he had a good idea as his mind flashed back to his conversation with Sam this morning.  

“Enough, Ben,” Dean said in a calm but firm tone. The tone more than anything had Ben stopping his struggle with Sam. He nodded at Sam who released Ben. “Lisa, Sam, can you please excuse us for a few minutes? I think I need to have a talk with my son.” He stood and put a firm hand on Ben’s shoulder to guide him from the room.

He kept his grip on Ben’s shoulder until they reached Ben’s room. He opened the door and motioned Ben to precede him inside. He kept one eye on Ben as he closed the door behind them.

“Okay, care to tell me what that was all about?” he asked as he crossed his arms across his chest.

“Like you don’t know,” Ben spat out.

“Ben, if I knew, I wouldn't be asking.” He wasn't going to admit he had an idea, Ben was upset he and Lisa spent the night together.

“You know, it’s really frustrating that I can’t remember you living with us,” Ben said. “I mean, Mom told me, I've had these dreams which aren't really dreams and there never really clear, but real actual memories…” He shook his head. “I don’t have any other than the scene at the hospital.”

Dean’s heart broke. He did this. When Lisa got her memory back, he didn't think about the fact Ben didn't. He didn't think about the fact that his son didn't remember him other than the man that caused problems between him and his mom.

“Now, here you are again back in our lives and you’re…you’re sleeping with my mom! And bragging about it like she is some two-bit whore from a bar!”

Dean saw red. His body tensed and his fists clenched. He was face to face with Ben without even realizing he moved. “If you _ever_ refer to your mother as a two-bit whore again, I will lay you out cold.” He took a deep breath and stepped back. He knew his anger was a volatile thing and right now, he wasn't sure he could rein it in.

“I will not discuss my relationship with your mom with you other than to say, what happens between us is just that between _us_.”

“Except when you share it with your brother,” Ben accused.

Dean was barely holding on to his temper. “Sam and I shared a joke, which, I may add, your mother heard. It was actually very complimentary to your mom, truth be told. But that is neither here nor there. I understand this is hard for you. If it was some man moving in on my mom, hell, I’d probably shoot the bastard…but that’s just me.” He shrugged.

“Easy for you to say, your mom is dead,” Ben said, anger still lacing his tone.

Dean smiled. ‘Here we go again,’ he thought. “No, actually, she’s not. But, we’re not talking about her right now.” He took a deep breath. “You had one free shot; I’ll give you that one. But understand this; it is the _only_ one you get. Try it again, and I’ll knock you into next week.” Ben shrugged which only set Dean’s teeth on edge.

“I’m not going to censure every little thing I say or do because you might be upset over it, so get used to it. If your mom has a problem with it, trust me, she’ll let me know. I know you've been taking care of her for the past five years, Ben. I’m not looking to replace you, but you are the child in this family. Like it or not, it’s time to take a step back.”

“I’m not a child,” Ben said.

“Then stop acting like one,” Dean snapped. “You got a problem with me? You come and talk to me about it. Because I mean it, Ben, next swing you take at me, I’m going to swing back. So you better make damn sure you take me down in one blow. And fair warning, bigger _men_ than you have tried and I’m still standing.”

Ben just stared at him for a few seconds before he said, “If you hurt her, I _will_ kill you.” He turned his back on him, went over, and sat on his bed.

“Fair enough,” Dean said. “I think you should stay in here for a little while. I’ll keep your mom away, give you some time to think.” When Ben shrugged, Dean turned and left him alone.

Dean felt in his pocket for his phone. When he didn't find it, he remembered he left it in the kitchen on the table after breakfast. He detoured to get it before going back to the main room. As he was leaving the kitchen he already had it to his ear waiting for it to be answered. He held a hand up to forestall any questions from Lisa or Sam as he walked into the room.

“Dammit, Cass. Answer your phone. Look, call me as soon as you get this,” he said and disconnected the call.

“What’s up?” Sam asked indicating the phone.

“Where’s Ben?” Lisa asked, her question coming at the Sam time as Sam’s.

“Ben’s in his room. Don’t worry, he’s fine. I called Cass because enough is enough with that kid,” he said.

“What?” Both Lisa and Sam asked at the same time.

“He still only sees me as the guy who hit his mom’s car and ruined the last five years of his life,” Dean said. “We can tell him about his lost memories all we want, but it doesn't change anything. I don’t know if fixing his brain will help or not, but at this point…” He threw up his hands.

“Want me to talk to him? Lost memories, I kinda know what that is like,” Sam said.

“Maybe, I don’t know,” Dean said. “I think right now, he just needs some time alone.”

“What was he so upset about?” Lisa asked.

Dean smiled ruefully as Sam chuckled. “My conversation with Sam this morning,” he said.

“What about it?” she asked. Then her eyes widened. “Oh my God!”

“No, I told you, that should be, Oh my Chuck,” Dean said. That did it, Sam burst out laughing and Dean followed suit.

Lisa looked from one brother to the other shaking her head. “If you two idiots could restrain yourselves, I think we need to talk about this.”

“Oh, watch out, Sam. She is using the “Mom voice”.” He put air quotes around the words as he spoke them.

He didn't see the punch coming but he felt it when her fist connected in the exact same spot she had hit him this morning. Air rushed out of his lungs as he doubled over. Sam continued to laugh until Lisa turned and glared at him.

“I still owe you from this morning,” she said.

Sam held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I've already paid for it.” He reached up and stroked his jaw. “Damn lucky I didn't run off the road. Never saw it coming.”

Dean had straightened up and looked at Sam. He saw the beginning of the black and blue mark on his jaw. “Hmm, so he got you first. Could have warned me, ya know.”

“Yeah, about that…I would have, but he took my phone on me. So…”

“So, you just let me sit here unaware of impending attack?” Dean asked.

“I didn't know he was going to come in here and punch you,” Sam said. “I mean, I knew he was still upset, but I thought he calmed down on the drive home.”

“Sam, he’s my son, do you honestly think his anger would be cooled off by a car ride?”

Sam shook his head. “Like father, like son.”

“In more ways than one,” Dean said as he rubbed his own jaw.

 

  

 


	12. Memories and Guns

“Hey, Dean,” Sam said to Dean when Lisa went into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll make the run to the grocery store,” Sam told him. “Give you three some time alone.”

Dean shook his head. “No, I’ll take Lisa and go. I need to get out of here for a bit. Honestly,” he looked behind him to see if Lisa was returning before he continued, his voice low, “I need to calm down before Ben comes out of his room.”

“What happened between you two?”

“Let’s just say, if he was anyone else, he wouldn’t have any teeth in his head about now,” Dean said. “As it was, it was a close thing.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I just need to drive this off,” he said.

“Want me to talk to him about the memory thing?” Sam asked.

“If you want, that’s up to you.”

Sam nodded. “Hey, better get some stuff for the kid to drink while you are at the store.”

“Yeah, and we are running low on beer,” Dean said and smiled.

“You going to the store?” Lisa asked.

“Nope, we are going to the store,” Dean said as he reached for her hand.

“But Ben…”

“Will be fine,” Dean said as he pulled her along behind him.

“Dean, stop. I need my purse and besides that, I’m not exactly dressed to go out. And honestly, neither are you. You do realize, you don’t even have any shoes on, don’t you?”

Dean looked down and then shot a Sam a withering look. “You would have let me go out like this?”

“If you were stupid enough not to even realize you aren’t wearing shoes, who am I to tell you about it?” Sam asked then started laughing.

“Go ahead, laugh. I am just dying to punch someone,” Dean said, his tone deadly serious.

“If it will make you feel better _and_ you think you can take me,” Sam said. “Then, come on.” Sam wriggled his fingers at Dean.

Dean let go of Lisa’s hand and took a step forward when he caught a glimpse of Lisa’s stricken face. He stopped dead in his tracks. “What’s wrong, Lees? Don’t worry, I can lay him out, no problem.”

“No, it isn’t that. Why are you dying to hit someone? What happened between you and Ben?”

Dean cursed. “Nothing to worry about. Kid said something that ticked me off. I realize now that he probably didn’t mean it the way it sounded to me, but at the time…Anyway, it isn’t anything to worry about. We came to an understanding.”

“An understanding? Anything I should know about?” she asked.

“Nope, just stuff between us,” Dean said. “Come on, let’s go get changed and get going. Sooner we go the sooner we get back and Sam can cook us dinner.”

Sam had no idea whether he should go to Ben’s room to talk to him or wait until Ben came out. He wasn’t even sure what he was going to say to him. He didn’t have to make the decision on whether to go and find Ben or not when Ben came out of his room about fifteen minutes after Dean and Lisa left.

“Where’s my mom?” Ben asked looking around.

“She went to the store with Dean, I mean, your dad. Sorry, it is still so new, hard to get used to saying Dad instead of Dean,” Sam said.

“Yeah, I get it,” Ben said as he joined Sam at the table. “So, you mad at me, too?”

Sam tipped his head to look at the boy and smiled. “No, I’m not mad at you. But, next time you feel like hitting me, how about you don’t do it while I am driving? You know, if I had wrecked Baby, and we survived the crash, Dean would have killed us.”

“Okay, next time, not while you are driving,” Ben said.

“Oh, and fair warning, you want to be treated like an adult? Well, then, I will treat you that way. I hit back from here on out,” Sam said.

“One free shot, huh?” When Sam smiled, Ben nodded. “Got the same warning from him.”

“Him? Your dad? Yeah, well, trust me on this, if he said it, he means it. I wouldn’t push him, Ben. Dean can be a mean son-of-a-bitch. Don’t get me wrong, he is a good man, the best. But, don’t underestimate him.”

A look of worry crossed Ben’s face. “He won’t hurt my mom, will he?”

Sam closed his eyes as he shook his head. “No, never. Dean would die for your mom and for you. Honestly, just between me and you, I am more worried about your mom hurting him.” Sam didn’t mean to say those words out loud. They just slipped out of his mouth unbidden.

“How would my mom hurt him?” Ben asked.

Sam sighed. “Ben, if she leaves, it is going to tear him to pieces. Do you know since that day at the hospital, he never spoke her name again? No one was allowed to talk about you or her. What he did, he had no choice. He never got over it, never.”

“Then why did he do it?”

“He saw no other way to keep both of you safe,” Sam said. “He tried leaving you to keep you safe, that didn’t work. So, he took the only measure he could think of, he wiped out any memory you had of him.” Sam ran a hand through his hair and over his face. “You know, Cass offered to do the same for him, to take his memories of both of you away. He refused, said that would be too easy, he deserved the pain for what he did to the both of you.”

Ben looked shocked with this new information. “He deserved the pain, he was right about that.”

“You think so? I don’t. But, debating it doesn’t change anything. What we need to do is pick up and move on.”

“How? Sure, all of you are okay with it cause you all remember everything. I don’t,” Ben said.

“Ben, I know what you are going through with lost memories,” Sam said. “I lost an entire year of memories.”

“Seriously?” Ben said. “What happened? Did you ever get them back?”

“It isn’t a pretty story, but if you want to know, I’ll tell you,” Sam said. When Ben nodded his head, Sam told him about how he lost his soul and how Dean got it back for him. He explained about the ‘Great Wall of Sam’. He also explained what happened when that wall came crashing down.

Ben sat and quietly listened never interrupting. When Sam finished, Ben looked at Sam in awe. “I can’t believe all that happened to you. You were seriously in hell with Lucifer?”

“Yeah,” Sam said.

“Wow. But he is still in there, right?” Ben asked.

“Not so much,” Sam said. “Long story, but nothing to worry about. Cass and Crowley are tracking him down. We’ll take care of it.”

“You’ll take care of it? Just like that?” Ben asked as he shook his head. “You’ll take of _Lucifer_? Shit, man, do you know how crazy that sounds?”

Sam laughed. “Well, yeah, I guess. But after this past year, anything is possible. But, that is a story for another day. Right now, I have a question for you.”

“Okay,” Ben said, hesitation clear in his voice.

“Do you want your memories back?”

“Of course I do!” Ben said.

“Ben, think about it, you are talking all of them. Not just the happy ones, but the bad ones, too. You will remember how your mom really got hurt, why she was really in the hospital. Ben, I know you dreamed part of it, but this will be the actual memory.”

“So, you don’t think I should get them back?” Ben asked.

“I didn’t say that,” Sam said. “I just want you to be sure.”

“What would you do?”

“I’d want to know. Ben, I went through it, and I had to know. But just be sure, because you can’t erase them again, once they are back,” Sam said.

“Do you think I can get them back? Mom did just by being around my father, but mine didn’t come back.”

“Well, Dean called Cass to talk to him about it since he is the one who blocked them from your memory. So, if you want them back, and Cass can restore them, then yes,” Sam said.

Ben nodded. “I want them back, all of them. How soon do you think he’ll hear from Cass?”

“Who knows? Remember when I said he was hunting Lucifer with Crowley? Who knows where they are or what they are doing,” Sam said.

At that exact moment, Sam’s phone rang. He looked down at it and smiled. “Speaking of Cass,” he said as he answered it. “Hey Cass, what’s up? Oh, yeah, he did. No, nothing’s wrong, not really. Listen, did you call him?...Ah…well maybe he doesn’t have service in the store…he called you because he wanted to know if you could stop by and,” Sam looked at Ben who nodded, “ restore Ben’s memories…yeah, Cass, I know…but this is kinda important too…I’m not sure that is such a great idea. I don’t think Dean wants Crowley knowing anything about this…You know what, you better talk to Dean before you do something like that…yeah, it would be better…okay…talk to you soon.” Sam hung up the phone.

“So, when is he coming?” Ben asked.

“He’s not, at least not yet,” Sam said. He held up a hand to stop the argument he saw Ben was about to make. “He is with Crowley. Crowley is the demon who kidnapped you and your mom all those years ago. I doubt your dad wants him knowing anything about you and your mom being back in our lives. Since Cass can’t just zap himself here, he was going to have Crowley bring him here. I don’t think your dad would like that. So, I told Cass to talk to your dad first.”

“Wait, Cass is working with a demon? And you trust this guy?”

“Cass is an angel, and yes, we trust him. A lot has happened in the last five years. I’m not saying we trust Crowley, but sometimes you have to work with…ahh…former enemies to get bigger enemies.”

“That doesn’t even begin to make sense,” Ben said.

“Welcome to our life, kid,” Sam said. “You’re going to find out a lot of crap doesn’t make sense, just go with it.”

In a quick change of subject, Ben asked, “Hey, can we go down to the gun range and practice? If I am going to be around, I think I should learn to shoot more than just a shotgun full of rocksalt.”

Sam was torn as to what to do with this request. On one hand, Ben was right. He did need to learn to shoot, being around them was dangerous. He also knew Lisa didn’t want him to have anything to do with hunting. He looked at the time on his phone. He figured they had at least an hour before Dean and Lisa got back, if they went down for a half-hour, they should be safe.

“Okay, but just for a half-hour. We need to be back here _before_ your mom and dad get back… _and_ you can’t tell them,” Sam said. “This has to stay between just you and me.”

“Sure,” Ben said smiling.

Sam grabbed a couple of his guns from his room on the way down. He couldn’t help but remember the first time he had shot a gun. He knew Ben had already shot one, he had shot several demons in that warehouse when they were there rescuing him and Lisa. Krissy also said he had shot a ghost. It was better he was taught how to properly use guns than just let the kid wing it if something happened.

Sam went over the basics first with him. He stood behind him with his arms around him to show him how to grip and aim properly, then stepped back to let Ben have a go at the target.

He missed on his first two shots. After readjusting the way he was standing, he hit dead-center in the heart on his next three shots. Sam was impressed.

“Nice job. Now try for a head shot,” Sam said. “Ghouls require a head shot and so do a few other things.”

“Okay,” Ben said. He re-aimed and missed the first shot. “Dammit. Okay, let’s try this again.” He took his time and hit the target dead center in the forehead. “YES!” He turned and gave Sam a beaming smile then crumpled to the floor.


	13. Understandings

“Holy shit!” Sam exclaimed as he was momentarily frozen. He dropped to his knees next to Ben and pulled his head and shoulders onto his legs. He lightly slapped Ben on the face. “Come on, Ben. Wake up, kid.”

“What happened?” Ben asked as his eyes slowly opened. “Did you deck me or something?”

“No, you passed out,” Sam said. “Let me help you up.” Sam gently helped Ben to sit up and stood. He reached down to offer a hand to Ben, but Ben didn’t take it.

“Ben?”

Ben looked up at him. “When you came to our house after you came back, when we all thought you were dead, you didn’t have your soul then, did you?”

“No,” Sam said. “Ben, I told you about this earlier.” Sam was getting worried, what prompted that question?

“You…the look on your face when you were standing in the doorway…it scared me,” Ben said.

“Ben, are you beginning to remember?”

Ben shook his head. “No, I do remember, everything. I think it was shooting the gun. It just tripped the memory of the warehouse or something.” He rubbed his forehead. “Damn, I have a headache.”

“Come on, let’s get you out of here and some aspirin in you,” Sam said. “I guess we are going to have to tell your mom and dad about this. They are going to ask what made you remember.”

 Ben took the hand Sam once again held down to him and stood. “I’m sorry, Uncle Sammy.”

Sam ruffled his hair. “It’s okay, Ben. Tell you a secret, your dad doesn’t scare me,” he said and laughed. “Just don’t tell him I said that.”

“My lips are sealed,” Ben said. “But…”

“What?”

“Well…he kinda scared me this morning,” Ben said and he dropped his head. “I think I really pissed him off.”

“Hey, that’s what kids are supposed to do. Don’t worry about it. I know you said something that made him really mad.” Sam shook his head when he saw Ben’s horrified expression. “No, I don’t know what you said and neither does your mom, but your dad, he knows he took what you said the wrong way.” Sam smiled. “Just give him time to calm down then talk to him. _Talk not argue_.”

“Okay,” Ben said.

They heard the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen when they were walking down the hall. Dean’s deep laugh competed with Lisa’s. The sound cut off and Ben looked up at Sam.

“Bet they are making out,” he said. “Let’s go catch them in the act.” The grin on his face told Sam he wasn’t upset over this but looking forward to embarrassing his parents.

Sam nodded and put a finger to his lips. They tiptoed quietly down the hall and peeked into the kitchen. Sure enough, Dean and Lisa were wrapped in each other’s arms. The stepped carefully into the kitchen and Sam nodded to the cups on the shelves. Ben nodded back and followed Sam. They each grabbed a cup and at the same time dropped it. Dean and Lisa jumped apart as if they had been shot.

“Oops, sorry,” Sam said. “Did we interrupt something?” He sent his elbow into Ben’s stomach when he heard the beginning of laughter from his nephew. It may have worked but the look of outrage on Dean’s face coupled with the look of guilt on Lisa’s had laughter bubbling up in Sam. He was barely holding it in when he made the mistake of glancing down at Ben. The sparkle of amusement in his eyes did him in, he burst out laughing. Ben unable to hold it in any longer joined him.

“You could’ve knocked or something,” Dean said.

“Knocked on an open door?” Sam said. He was trying hard to stop laughing, but Ben was still softly laughing so it was difficult.

“Oh, go ahead, keep it up, Chuckles,” Dean said to Ben. “Think that was funny, do you?”

“Hilarious,” Ben said. “Almost as good as soaking you with the hose.”

“Something I still owe you for,” Dean said. “Remember what they say about reven—” His words cut off as what Ben said finally sunk in. “Wait, you remember that?”

Ben nodded. “I sure do. I remember your face the best. You should have seen him, Uncle Sam, he looked like a drowned rat.”

“I would have paid money to see that,” Sam said smiling. “You know, there’s—”

“HOLD IT!” Dean exclaimed. “What the hell happened while we were gone?”

“Ben, are you okay?” Lisa asked as she walked over to her son.

“I’m fine, Mom,” he said. “Well, I do have a bit of a headache, but other than that, I’m okay. I feel like…I don’t know, like I got back something I lost. Like part of me is back. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“It’s okay, Ben. I understand,” Lisa said.

“I still want to know what happened. Was Cass here?” Dean asked.

Sam shook his head. “Now, don’t get mad,” he said.

“Whenever you say that, I have the sudden urge to reach for my gun,” Dean said. “Or just to pop you one for the hell of it.”

“Do you want to know or not?” Sam asked. Dean nodded.

“It was my idea. Don’t get mad at him,” Ben said.

“Ben, stay out of this,” Dean warned. “Sam what did you do?”

Ben went and stood in front of Dean. “I will not stay out of this. I asked Uncle Sam to show me how to shoot a gun the right way. I figured hanging out around here, it probably was a good idea.”

“Hang on, I said no hunting,” Lisa said and glared at Sam.

“Mom, shooting a gun isn’t hunting. Get over it,” Ben said.

“Ben, don’t talk to your mom like that,” Dean said.

“Talk to him? That’s what you said.” Ben turned and looked at Sam. “Maybe you should have told him to listen.” He walked to the doorway of the kitchen. “If you are going to be mad at anyone over this, be mad at me. You seem to be able to do that easily enough.” He walked out of the room. From down the hall, they all heard the echoing sound of his door slam.

“I better go try to talk to him,” Lisa said.

“No, let him go,” Dean said. “We can’t keep running to smooth things over every time he gets pissy. Sam, tell us what happened.”

Sam explained what happened. Everything from the talk he and Ben had to calling Cass and then what happened when Ben was shooting the gun. “Kid is a crack shot, when he concentrates,” Sam said admiration in his voice.

“Have to work on that. He needs to be able to be accurate without thinking,” Dean said.

“Man, you sound just like Dad,” Sam said.

“Well, Dad had it right, now didn’t he?”

Sam held up a hand. “Hey, I’m not trying to start a fight here. Just stating a fact.”

“Whatever,” Dean said.

“No, Dean, not whatever. Don’t you see? Ben isn’t you or me. You can’t expect him to just fall in to line just because you say so. You may technically be his father, but you’re not his dad, not yet. You have to give him time to adjust. That year you spent with him, you were more a father to him then than you are now.”

Dean looked at Sam. He knew Sam was right. He was expecting too much. He just expected everything with Ben to go back to the way it was all those years ago. Not only had he changed but Ben did too. He thought about what just happened. Ben came in and wasn’t upset to find him kissing Lisa. He was actually amused by it. And what did he do? He ruined it. They should be happy Ben had his memories back and instead Ben was ticked off…again, and from the look of it, Lisa wasn’t all that happy with him, either.

“Shit,” he said. He stood and walked out of the kitchen.

Sam looked at Lisa and smiled. “Well, at least I didn’t have to beat some sense into him. That I would say is progress.” Lisa turned her head quickly to look at him. “So, what did you get for dinner?”

Dean hated to admit he was wrong, but in this case, he knew he had no choice. He knocked on Ben’s door. “Ben, can I come in?”

“It’s your house,” Ben said.

‘Not the most welcoming response,’ Dean thought. He opened the door and took the scene in with one quick glance. Ben had his backpack on his bed. It was clear he was packing what few things he had taken out. ‘Not good. Stay calm,’ he ordered himself.

“Going somewhere?” he asked casually.

“Yeah, back home. If Mom wants to stay here, fine. But, I’m not staying.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m tired of all the fighting,” he said simply. He reached out to close his pack.

Dean laid a hand on top of his as he sat down on the bed. When Ben raised his head to look over at him, he said, “Ben, I’m sorry. I…hell, you want to know the truth? I look at you and I see this person who grew up and all the years I missed but… I also see the snot-nosed little eleven year old who helped me work on that old truck I had, the one who soaked me with that hose. I just can’t put the two of them together.”

“Think about how I feel. Especially now. Before, you were just the guy who pretty much screwed up my life, now, I have all these memories of you. Yeah, a lot of them are great, but some of them…”

“Not so great, huh?” Dean said and smiled. “So, what are we going to do about it?”

“Well, when Uncle Sam and I were talking, he made a comment about picking up and going on from here. Guess, we can try that,” Ben said. He looked at Dean unsure.

Dean ran a hand over his mouth and chin. Finally, he nodded. “With a few conditions.”

“There are always conditions,” Ben said grumpily.

“See, now that is one of them. Lose the attitude,” Dean said.

“I will, if you do,” Ben retorted.

“Ben…” Dean took a deep breath. ‘Calm,’ he ordered himself. “We aren’t going to be able to keep butting heads all the time. God, it is like reliving life with Sam and my dad. Shit, Sam is right.” Dean shook his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Sam and my dad, they fought over everything. If he said the sky was blue, Sam would argue it was black, just on principle. I don’t know how, but you are so much like Sam, it scares me.”

“Why?”

“Because he is a stubborn son of a bitch,” Dean said.

“Funny, he said something similar about you,” Ben said.

“Really, just what did my brother say about me?” Dean asked, curious now.

“Promise you won’t get mad?” When Dean nodded, Ben pushed. “Say the words. You always told me you would never break a promise, so say it.”

“I promise I won’t get mad,” Dean said trying not to think of the promise he did break. The most important promise of all, to keep them both safe.

“He said you were a mean son of a bitch,” Ben said.

Dean burst out laughing. “Well, he got that right. I am and don’t ever forget it. But you know I would never hurt you or your mom, right? No matter how mad you make me, I could never hurt you.”

Ben nodded. “I pissed you off pretty bad this morning, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did. If you weren’t my kid…”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I was angry. I guess I am like you, I have a problem with my temper.” Ben smiled.

Dean nodded. “We’ll work on that together. Which brings me to my second condition, no more flying off the handle. I’m not saying we aren’t going to fight. But, we have to figure out a way to talk it out.” He ran a hand threw his hair. “Did I just say that? I must be getting old,” he murmured.

Ben laughed. “I guess having a seventeen year old son will do that to you.” He sat up straighter and looked over at Dean. “Hey, is that a gray hair I see?” When Dean jumped up and rushed to the mirror, Ben doubled over in laughter.

“Oh, you think that is funny, do you?” Dean stalked back across the room. He stopped in front of Ben and with no warning, he pounced.

Lisa heard the laughter as she turned the corner of the hall. Intrigued, she slowly opened her son’s door. The sight that greeted her had tears forming in her eyes. She backed out of the room and closed the door softly. As she turned, she bumped into Sam. She put a finger up to her lips to indicate for him to be quiet.

When they were a safe distance from Ben’s room, Sam asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she said wiping at the tears on her cheeks. “Dean and Ben are just having a tickling fight like they used to. It was most beautiful sight I have seen in a long time.”


End file.
